10/30/2026
So…I live with a dog who thinks she’s a toddler 👶, a personal trainer 💪, and a professional escape artist 🕵️♀️ — all rolled into one.
She has severe separation anxiety.
🚪 I close a door? She's outside like, “Did you abandon me orrrr??”
🛁 Bathroom? She kicks it open like she’s in Fast & Furious: Canine Drift
🍳 Kitchen? She’s underfoot like Gordon Ramsay with fur.
She doesn’t walk.
She struts. 💃
Like she owns the place and pays the mortgage.
She has opinions.
🥣 Won’t eat unless her bowl is turned at a 37.5° angle.
🧼 Rearranges her blanket like she’s prepping for a Better Homes & Gardens shoot.
🧸 Toys? Gone. Shredded. Unrecognizable.
She once “disemboweled” a stuffed duck in under 4 minutes. I timed her. ⏱️
But then…
I found THE Ball. ⚽️
Cue dramatic music.
Not just any ball.
💥 Tough.
💥 Bouncy.
💥 No stuffing, no squeaker, no nonsense.
She treats it like it’s her emotional support orb.
🏃♀️ Zooms around the house with it.
😴 Sleeps with it tucked under her chin.
🫧 Tried to take it into the bath — romantic, really.
I got it from: https://www.thepawfinity.com/collections/bernese-mountain-dog/products/pet-dog-toy-football-shape-durable-rubber-squeaky-suitable-for-medium-to-large-breeds-interactive-pet-toy-companion-toy-for-pets
This thing is still alive.
Which is more than I can say for:
👟 My sneakers
🧦 My socks
🧠 And my remaining patience.
If your dog:
🐾 Destroys everything
🐾 Has main character energy
🐾 Or just deserves a toy that lasts longer than 5 minutes…
Trust me. Get the ball. ⚽️
They’ll love it. You’ll love the silence.
