11/02/2026
A little advice, a little perspective, and a whole lot of love. ❤️🐾
I've seen quite a few posts in local mom groups lately from parents wondering whether they should bring their children along when it's time to say goodbye to a beloved family pet.
I think this is an incredibly personal decision, and ultimately, every family needs to do what feels right for them. But I wanted to share our experience because I think sometimes people assume that having children present for a pet's final goodbye is automatically a terrible or traumatic experience. And I want people to know that it doesn't have to be.
Our girls were almost 4 and 6 when we had to say goodbye to our original sister, Talley, last April. We had been preparing them for quite some time. In fact, the previous October, we had already taken end-of-life photographs because we wanted to capture Talley while she was still herself, full of life and personality. We didn't want our memories or photographs of her final chapter to be defined by death.
When the time came, we gave the girls the choice of whether they wanted to be there. We understood that they were still very young, so we guided them through that decision as best we could, talked openly about what would happen, and made sure they knew they could change their minds.
We also tried to make Talley's last day as special as possible, given how frail she had become. We had four days between making the appointment and saying goodbye, which gave us time to plan. I recognize that not every family gets that luxury. Sometimes our pets decline quickly, and decisions have to be made much sooner.
The girls made cards for Talley in case they decided they didn't want to attend. But when the day came, they both decided they wanted to be there.
A rainbow blanket for Talley to lie on, and we all sat around her, spending those final moments together. We brought the girls' cards so Talley could have them with her as she closed her eyes. We had also put together a playlist of beautiful music that the girls helped choose. As Talley peacefully went to sleep, we all sang Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to her because that's what we sing to our girls every night. It was the perfect way to say goodbye.
There were tears. Lots of them. My husband and I didn't hide our emotions, and we didn't feel that we needed to. We cried, we hugged, and we loved our girl through her final moments.
Because we had chosen to say goodbye at the veterinary office rather than at home, we also arranged for someone we trusted to come along and wait in the parking lot. That way, if either girl changed her mind at any point, they had someone who could take them outside.
Was it sad? Absolutely. Was it emotional? Without a doubt. But I wouldn't change the way we handled it.
I remember having to say goodbye to my brother's dog when I was 13. That experience was traumatic for me, but largely because the circumstances were traumatic. He had been hit by a car in our driveway. Looking back, I'm actually glad I was there, even though it was incredibly difficult.
I think that's an important distinction. Sometimes the circumstances surrounding a goodbye are what make it traumatic, not simply being present for it.
I don't share our experience because I think everyone should bring their children. I share it because I don't think parents should feel that they can't bring them, either.
Consider your child's age, personality, understanding, and emotional needs. Talk to them honestly in an age-appropriate way. Give them choices when possible. Prepare them for what they might see and experience. And if you decide they shouldn't be there, that's okay, too. There are other meaningful ways for children to participate in saying goodbye.
Most importantly, trust your own heart as their parent. You know your children better than anyone else.
There is no wrong way to love your pet through their final chapter, and there is no shame in choosing to include your children in that goodbye.
Sometimes, one of the most important things we can teach our children is that loving someone also means being there for them when it's time to let go. ❤️
And if you're facing that decision right now, please know that whatever you choose, you're not a bad parent. You're simply a parent trying to navigate one of the hardest parts of loving a pet.
One last little thing: Three Sisters Barkery offers complimentary end-of-life cakes for beloved pups. It's just a small way I can help make their final chapter a little sweeter. No purchase necessary, just a little love. ❤️🐾
