06/02/2026
🚨💅 EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT: Pixie Is Looking For Staff 💅🚨
Pixie is approximately 3–4 years old and currently interviewing candidates for the role of personal assistant, snack distributor, and professional admirer.
This glamorous little tax evader was sadly tossed outside when her owners moved away, but she has since decided homelessness was beneath her and is now accepting applications for indoor luxury only.
Before y’all get carried away by the face card, please read the fine print:
✨ ONLY CAT HOME — Pixie believes sharing is a government conspiracy.
✨ DOES NOT LIKE TO BE HELD — this is not Build-A-Bear. Put those grabby hands away 😭
✨ She will request affection WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE IT and not a millisecond sooner.
✨ Her love language is existing beautifully in your general vicinity.
✨ Pixie’s official diagnosis is Chronic Mixed Signals Syndrome. One minute she’s demanding pets, and the next she’s looking at you like, “Don’t touch me, we’ve discussed this.” 💅😭
Pixie is basically that one rich aunt with no job, unexplained money, and very strong opinions.
And honestly… LOOK AT HER.
This cat looks like she pays zero bills yet somehow owns property. She looks like she has an attorney. She looks like she would call a meeting to discuss your performance as her employee.
🚫 And before anyone starts acting brand new — DO NOT APPLY if your life plan involves putting her outside again. Pixie already survived being abandoned once and we are not doing the “oopsie I moved” sequel. She said absolutely not, management said absolutely not, and HR said take that nonsense elsewhere.
✅ Fully vetted because she worked too hard for that snatched figure to be risking motherhood again.
💉 Vaccinated because ewww… diseases.
📍 Microchipped because being abandoned twice was not part of her storyline.
🪱 Dewormed because she supports clean living and hostile takeovers.
🛡️ On flea prevention because parasites were removed from the guest list.
🧪 Combo test pending because she declined to cooperate with laboratory personnel 💅😭
📍 Boiling Springs
🏡 Indoor only because we support luxury housing and emotional healing 💅
If your dream cat is dramatic, independent, stunning, mildly judgmental, and built like a fluffy HOA president… congratulations. Your landlord has arrived. 👑🐾