10/28/2026
So worth the read! The barn should be a safe haven; your happy place!
Finding the right barn family isn’t just about finding friends to ride with… it’s about our mental health.
I feel like there’s this common theme of “barn drama” and I think we need to break the thought of that being normal. Our horses are our time to find peace and an escape from the world. It is absolutely not the place for petty comments, reality TV drama or constant tension.
You need to be surrounded by people who build you up, not tear you down…
People who are cheering you on whether it’s at an A show or over a 6” cross rail…
People who aren’t judging you for only wanting to walk around or having no desire to show at all…
People who don’t care what outfit you show up to the barn in…
People who want you and your horse to win, not just a ribbon, but to win at life.
Let’s be real… horseback riding is a pretty intense sport. The fact that we’re strapping some leather onto a thousand-pound prey animal and hoping we can keep all four feet on the ground while holding onto two straps that aren’t much wider than your little finger… well it’s pretty remarkable in itself. Every time you get your butt in the saddle and manage to land back on the ground on two feet safely… well that alone is quite an accomplishment.
Horseback riding is emotional. It’s raw. It’s intense. It’s an escape from reality because we have to be present in that moment, just as our horses are. But it is absolutely not for the faint of heart.
When you are choosing to put your foot in the stirrup, the last thing you need is to feel emotionally drained from the 10 minute conversation you had in the barn with Karen who was just telling you all the “he said, she said” of who has been talking smack about you and your horse behind your back. You shouldn’t be going into that ride thinking about how angry you are at the fact that Sarah can’t keep her 300 saddle pads contained and they’re taking over your space in the tack room. You shouldn’t be wondering who’s talking crap about you while you ride. And you definitely shouldn’t be worried about who’s casually glancing at the arena and judging every move you make on your horse, just waiting for their opportunity to claim you were riding in Rollkur (cue PETA).
There’s enough drama at work, on social media and in those reality TV shows I can’t seem to understand how people watch; we don’t need that crap at the barn.
As someone who used to suffer with severe anxiety, panic attacks, & depression, I now protect my mental health at all costs. I have overcome all my mental health issues & I refuse to let the atmosphere at my barn be a cause of any anxiety. I can’t emphasize just how important it is to surround yourself with the right people when at all possible.
Sure, your barn might have the best landscaping, the most beautiful tack lockers, & arena footing that’s softer than your 20 year old mattress, but none of that matters if you dread going out because Susan might be there waiting to start a Kardashian style argument. No amount of perfectly swept barn aisles or pressure washed white fencing can make up for a toxic atmosphere.
No drama here!
From Elevation Equestrian Center
