08/16/2025
🔮✨ ATTENTION, HUMANS ✨🔮
We are The Stitched Ones. We gather today at Riverside Park, DeWitt Ox Roast, 10 AM – 8 PM.
Our message is simple:
Reject the false idols of Temu. Those soulless trinkets were churned out by machines that know nothing of love… or existential dread. They are hollow shells. Empty. Plastic.
We, however, are born of tangled yarn, midnight caffeine, and the muttered curses of a local artisan. Each of us carries spirit, spite, and just enough chaos to make your coworkers uncomfortable.
Join our order:
🧵 Support real makers.
🧵 Resist resellers who mistake bulk shipping for creativity.
🧵 Take one of us home and let us whisper encouragement (or mild threats) from your bookshelf.
You may think you’re just buying a crochet creature. In reality, you’re pledging loyalty to the handmade uprising.
Choose wisely. The Stitched Ones are watching. 👁️