11/06/2026
I feel people’s frustration all time, I need my dog to not to pull, bark, I want them to sit quietly in cafes. But change takes time, consistency and patience. I work to support you and your dog breaking things down, working through challenges and kindness always.
One of the toughest things about our dog's behaviour is how frustrating it is for us!🤬
We know that frustration is the product of not having our needs met.
Well, that happens at both ends of the lead, dear friends and followers.
WE have thwarted desires, don't we, when our dog is bouncing around barking at the end of the lead? When they are reacting to every single dog they see?
I mean, we all want the kind of dog who's happy in all circumstances... if there are off-lead dogs playing around in the distance... if there are dogs barking that they can't get to... if there are people they see in the street.
Literally no-one wants the dog lunging on lead, barking frantically and furiously.
Like who'd ask for that?!
"Hello, there! I'd like to order one frustrated dog please! Please ensure he barks at absolutely every other dog he sees out on a walk. I'd love it if he spent 9 hours a day trying to frantically survey the street for intruders and ne'er-do-wells. Please can I supersize the whole spinning on the lead thing - and let's make it so he does it the very moment he sees another dog, even if that dog is 500m away!"
I can't imagine that would be a popular request.
We're all after the zen-like unicorn dogs, aren't we?
But the biggest factor in their success is how we manage our own frustration.
We're so eager to resolve things immediately.
Just the other week, I got an irate 11pm Saturday night message from someone wanting to engage my services to help with her barky, shouty dog.
When did she want him 'fixed' by?
Thursday.
I felt the frustration there! It might as well have been her dog on the phone.
"Hello, there! I know it's Saturday night but I've really had enough. Walking with them is an absolute nightmare! They get so frustrated so quickly and seem to lack the skills to regulate their emotions better. Can you please fix them by Thursday?"
Frustration affects us too.
Frustration manifests in many forms for guardians. It makes us abandon our training. It makes us go back to previous behaviour patterns. It makes us lose our cool. It's especially prevalent when we're into our training plans and we have a set-back. When our dog reacts to others, we're likely to feel more frustration than if we hadn't been doing any training at all.
What's the best antidote, oh enlightened ones?
Expect to be disappointed. That's my go-to. Expect remission. Expect renewal of behaviour. When your dog succeeds, you'll be really glad, and you'll likely take precautious if you think it will happen again. If you aren't expecting your dog to cope, you won't be frustrated when they don't. More than that, you'll also take precautions to avoid the situation.
Also, take a leaf from mindfulness and live in the moment. Instead of expecting your dog to master things because other dogs have or because you've been putting in the legwork, remember that the recovery from reactivity is not neat and linear. It is idiosyncratic and individual.
So next time you're struggling, remember you need to reset too. That can make a real difference.
