09/26/2025
My son has been grounded for 7 days. He was caught by a Sheriffs deputy riding an e-bike without a helmet, which is illegal in our county, and against our house rules.
He has been without his phone and video games for 7 days. This has been incredibly hard for a 14 yr old. I mean, we all have some degree of addiction to our phones and this has been a really tough punishment for him.
Last night he was upset about how long he’s been grounded and he said, “You took away my phone. You took away everything!” I asked him to sit down and I told him a story.
A few weeks ago I was in an AA meeting and a man in there was talking about how he had lost his wife and his home and his job and his money due to his drinking. He had lost everything. Then, several months into his sobriety he realized he hadn’t “lost” anything, he had given it away. He gave away all the things he loved because he chose to drink and now he had to deal with those choices.
I said to my son, “I didn’t take away your phone, you gave it away, along with all of those other privileges when you made the choice that got you into trouble. You gave away the things you enjoy and it cost you. You can be upset. You can be angry, but you need to see that the choice you made is why those things are gone, not because I took them away. It’s all about perspective.
I continued to explain that we all make poor choices and decisions at times and the goal is to learn from them so we don’t repeat them. I told him I loved him and that I hoped he learned a lesson over the past week.
This is the raw side of parenting. The anger and angst they feel towards us when we are working to show them the path. Raising teenagers isn’t easy and sometimes it feels like you are screaming into a void. I’ll keep going because each day I “get” to be his Mom, and that is something I never want to give away.
