Can I have your permission to go back into my childhood and bring you through to the present moment, tying everything together? It’s a personal and in-depth read that some may be able to relate to, and I believe it provides a foundation for the empathy and attraction I have with the dogs. If you said yes, here we go..
To put simply; I was a high energy, big-hearted kid who did not conform, and caused my teachers a lot of frustration. After getting kicked out of private school in 6th grade, I got thrown in with the big boys in public school, where the tough kids already had taken a dislike to me. This is where my introduction to the “pack mentality” really began, as the tough kids eventually became my pack. It was here that I first got a taste of “pack-life” and the unfortunate feelings that come with being at the bottom of the pecking order, as so many kids can attest to. It was the understanding of having lived as the kid that won’t fall in line, and having lived as the kid at the bottom, top, and everywhere in between in the pecking order, and of being mistreated while vulnerable later in life, that I get a deeper understanding of what the dogs can feel like. “You’re afraid and you feel like you have to fight to protect yourself?” I get it, I’ve been there. “You don’t want to fight, but you feel like you have to?” I get it. “You have a problem with that other dog over there?” I get it. “You don’t mean it personally, but you don’t want to follow the rules?” I get it. “You don’t trust authority?” I get it. I get it, and I understand the way you feel because I’ve been there. So in a way, I get to go back and be the mediator that I didn’t have as a kid. Sometimes I need to let things play out, and sometimes I need to step in and set something straight, but I’m always there watching. It’s very fulfilling.
Be the pack leader
I’ve always had an affinity for animals and nature; adopting stray dogs, watching National Geographic, the Crocodile Hunter, and of course, Cesar Millan. After adopting Samson in 2008, I began watching National Geographic’s “The Dog Whisperer, with Cesar Millan”. The rest, you can say, is history. I quickly became obsessed; having been through many of the trials and tribulations of the human packs we can grow up with in the school system, etc., I felt a deep connection with the pack mentality and the feelings associated with every position in the pack, as I had been there. In 2008, I adopted a second Pit Bull, Layla, and my housemate adopted another Pit Bull, Charlie. So, we had 9 guys living in our house with 3 black Pit Bulls. I was taking care of all of the dogs, basically trying to be Cesar Millan. This is when I first ran into problems with aggression; two of the three dogs became very dog aggressive, and after a weekend vacation, I returned home finding out that they had killed the neighbors’ cats, and my friend’s dog had been put down before I was able to see him. That was my first encounter with aggression from dogs and the things that come with it–the apologies, the embarrassment, the guilt, the isolation..
Starting the business
After graduating in 2009, I was hit with tough times. In 2010, my mom, grandparents, and dad all lost their homes, and I moved into my grandparents’ storage room in their new, smaller house. That hit me hard. I saw no one living the life they had imagined, no one becoming the person they wanted to become, or living their dreams. I realized that living the life I had imagined was going to be a lot harder than I had anticipated, that most people give up on their dreams, and it terrified me to my core. (I also got a taste of what it felt like to be mistreated when in a weak/vulnerable state, something that I recovered from and forgave, but gave me a much deeper understanding of the effects of mistreatment of dogs.) After much introspection and the painful realization that no one was coming to the rescue, the idea of starting a dog hiking company kept coming up. This was something I had considered after graduating, but set aside as a fantasy in the hopes of getting a “real job.” I thought to myself, “Well, I already have basically nothing, so what do I have to lose? If it doesn’t work I can always put it on my resume..”Big thanks to Healthy Spot, and to my earth angels that sent me referrals through those early years. You know who you are. I quickly ran head first into a slew of problems: aggression, dogs running away (which were all recovered), serious fights, getting bitten, etc. The most painful and personal problem though was with my dog, Layla, who had picked up on my anger/anxiety from the difficult period after graduating, and become dog aggressive to the point that she could no longer go on the hikes. I would leave to hike the dogs, and she would stay at home alone. It broke my heart. All she wanted to do was connect, and she couldn’t, and I couldn’t help her. She had been in about 20+fights, with vet bills, apologies, etc. We were both in a self-imposed isolation. She had become me, with the same problems; I couldn’t help her, and I couldn’t help myself. Here I was supposed to know about dogs, and meanwhile, I have problems with my own dog, and I don’t have the understanding or tools to help her. It wasn’t until meeting Bradon Fouche, in 2014, that I found the answers I had been searching for. He took Layla into his pack, she went through the fire into transformation, as did I, and a deeper level of understanding began to open up to me. It’s an understanding I can’t explain in a paragraph, but I will be carrying it, building upon it, and sharing it wherever I go. It’s deeper than just dogs.. Fast forward to now, and Layla is hiking 5 days a week, (even alongside old mortal enemies), and most importantly, she has healed her broken heart. She has friends and the life I had promised her. And, I’m able to bring dogs together and with a deeper understanding that I didn’t know existed. (Unconscious incompetence: things you don’t know that you don’t know.) 📷
Now, onto some spiritual stuff
When you’re willing to face death, things can become more real. Though I’ve always considered myself a spiritual person, it wasn’t until 2017, about 7 years after my first “awakening,” that I began to fall through the cracks to a deeper level. “What am I doing? Why am I doing this? What is it all about?” I allowed myself to fall into the hottest part of the flames, the deepest part of the scary ocean within us, figuratively speaking. It’s hard to explain, but I began to see with a different awareness; I saw past the egos, and, among other things, how many of us have lives based upon core wounds, and how we can unconsciously perpetuate this “chain of pain.’’ Going unconscious because we were hurt, then hurting others because we are unconscious is a common example. I began to see the lack of love, the lack of connection, all of the things that were too painful to look at after my first steps into the “real world,” and things that most of us are unable to ever face, because of the pain associated with acknowledging them, though many face them in old age. “Ego-death.” A difficult, (maybe impossible), thing to maintain. I think to myself what a unique position I am in to help people by using my past failures, my passions, interests, and gifts to bring more love into the world. There is much that can be done. I believe there is a huge deficit/demand for love, awareness, connection in the world, and what better vehicle to spread that than the dogs. With a new and somewhat frightening mission of living from the heart, spreading love, and going big with helping people and dogs, I am now trying to build the systems and “aqueducts,” if you will, to bring the knowledge, value, services and of course, the love to the people and dogs who need it.
Thank you for reading. Much love, and we hope to be able to help you in some way in the future. Don’t stop pushing. Big thanks to Cesar Millan for the inspiration, and to Brandon Fouche for taking divining deep into the rabbit hole and exposing a deeper level of understanding. 💖💯
