06/07/2026
🩸 ATTENTION, MINIONS. 🩸
Count Cornelius has reached 24,982 followers despite contributing almost nothing to society except occasional threats, tax evasion, and sleeping in increasingly concerning positions. {We have checked for a pulse. It’s weak and only grows as his fandom increases.} 😴
🚨 We need ONLY 18 more followers to reach 25,000. 🚨
➡️ Please share this post and recruit additional cult members before Cornelius wakes up and discovers he is not yet universally revered.
{He appears to be dead. It is likely a ruse. The tail did twitch.}🧛