10/28/2026
🐔 FLOCK & FIELD PRESENTS: THE GREAT CHICKEN CAPER 🐔
An action-comedy in which the chickens win. Again.
The batch of 16 we relocated Monday night did great! They’re settling into their new digs at the farm, and I’m sure they’ll learn to love it. After all, give chickens enough treats and they’ll learn to love just about anything. New home? Sure! New routine? Fine! Questionable management? Whatever. As long as snacks are involved. 😂
Feeling pretty smug about how smoothly the first 16 went, I decided today was the day to relocate the remaining 8 hens.
In broad daylight.
Because apparently, I have mistaken myself for someone who knows what she’s doing. 🤦♀️
BIG. MISTAKE.
Those girls were NOT having it.
What followed was less professional poultry relocation and more an episode of Benny Hill. Picture me sprinting around the chicken run like a woman who has completely lost the plot, while eight feathered divas scatter in every direction.
I lunged for a wing. Missed.
I reached for a tail feather. Missed.
I tried to outmaneuver a chicken with a brain the size of a walnut. The chicken won.
At one point, I’m pretty sure they were taking turns running past me just to see if I’d chase them.
Spoiler alert: I did. Repeatedly. 🙄
The final tally:
🐔 Chickens captured: 0
💩 Chicken p**p on my shoes: Yes
🏃♀️ Unplanned cardio session: Absolutely
😵💫 Dignity: Missing, presumed dead
🐓 Chickens’ confidence in their ability to defeat me: Unshakable
So, I’m going to take a nap, regroup, and revisit this little hostage situation around sunset.
Because I have finally remembered the golden rule of chicken wrangling:
Never try to catch a chicken when it’s awake and has options.
Tonight, when the feathered divas tuck themselves into bed, I shall return. Quietly. Strategically. With the confidence of a woman who has learned absolutely nothing from today’s experience.
Stay tuned. 😂🐔
Btw: the magic snacks are from Tractor Supply Co. A mix of mealworms, BSFL, split peas, corn , etc called “Bok Bok Bug”.