10/24/2026
WANTED IN ALL 50 STATES. š¾šØ
Wassup, peasants. š
Nameās Cruiser. š¤
Iām a certified BAD DAWG. A menace to society. A straight-up criminal. The streets know my name.
MY CRIMINAL RECORD INCLUDES:
š Excessive zoomies without a permit.
š Assault with a deadly amount of cuteness.
š Grand theft squeaky toy.
š Disturbing the peace by being an absolute GOOFBALL.
š Reckless operation of all four paws.
š Being ridiculously handsome in a public place.
Now, the rescue ladies keep tellinā everybody Iām a āsweet babyā and āthe goodest boyā and āsuch a smart little guy.ā
MAāAM. I AM A DANGEROUS INDIVIDUAL. SHOW SOME RESPECT. š¤
Okay, fine. I do love playing. And cuddles are pretty cool. And I might be a little bit of a baby. And yes, I get excited about basically EVERYTHING.
BUT THAT AINāT THE POINT.
Iām SMART, too. Like, scary smart. My brain is enormous. My thoughts are mostly about toys, snacks, and committing minor acts of tomfoolery, but still. š§
Iām funny. Iām playful. Iām full of personality. Iām basically the entertainment department, security team, and class clown all rolled into one handsome little criminal.
But hereās the part I donāt understand. š„ŗ
Iām Cactus Ranch Rescueās LONGEST-STAY RESIDENT.
Yep. ME.
The funniest dude in the joint. The life of the party. The boy whoās got enough love and personality to fill an entire house.
Iāve watched other dogs pack their little bags and head off to their forever homes while Iām still here, practicing my tough-guy face and waiting for somebody to pick me.
And donāt get me wrong. Iām happy for āem.
But, likeā¦
HELLO??? HAVE YāALL SEEN ME??? š
Iām still just a baby with a whole lifetime of adventures ahead of me. I wanna play, learn cool tricks, make you laugh until your belly hurts, and be somebodyās favorite little sidekick.
I donāt need to be the baddest dawg on the block.
I just wanna be YOUR dawg. š„¹ā¤ļø
So somebody come bust me outta this joint.
I PROMISE TO BEHAVE.
(That is a legally questionable statement. My attorney has advised me to stop talking.) š«”
š Cruiser, AKA Big Bad Cruisey
CEO of Bad Decisions & Good Boy Behavior
š Cactus Ranch Rescue | Bryan/College Station, TX
š¾ Nationwide adoptions available!
šµ Apply at cactusranchrescue.com
P.S. My foster says Iām actually a giant sweetheart. PLEASE donāt tell the streets. I have a reputation to maintain. šš¾