18/06/2025
WHERE DID YOU FIND GOD?
The world stood still.
Millions where dying of something that just appeared and forced every door and window closed.
God was in control in our lives in a miraculous way.
He opened the border for my sister and husband on a " surprised" visit from abroad.
That was a miracle.
One morning I woke up with a movement in my soul.
My journey went to my parents house.
Inside I found a very worried mother.
Dad was on the bed with oxygen..
My heart was crying.
I've seen him like this many times but not in his own bed.
I checked his oxygen level and gas bottle.
Something was not right.
I phoned my friend a medical sister.
She confirmed what my family said to get a big oxygen bottle.
Mom and myself was all by ourself,,,,, through the glass curtain I saw masked faces, worried and silent.
It was my sister's. They couldn't enter the room.
Should they also got this " invasion of every life" they wouldnt have been able to go back home.
Then we had to teach a very sick Dad to breathe.
Not only breathe but try to fill his lungs.
With a straw I asked him to " suck and breathe out"
He managed. We felt happy for a moment.
We watched the machine on his finger and kept on helping him too breathe.
Behind the Glass Curtain stood my sibling, questions in their eyes. The masks covered their expression but the eyes told the story it was full of tears.
For once the very hands-on sisters could only stare and cry.
As the day went on dad's oxygen levels started going down and damaged lungs made it more concerning.
Maybe too late, and I'll always carry this around, did I suggest that we phoned the ambulance and paramedics too late.
He wasn't able to to breathe properly anymore.
I looked through the Glass curtain and told my siblings that it's not looking good and the ambulance is on its way.
They cried, masks catching the tears.
Finally he indicated that he wanted to go to the bathroom.
Mom, small but strong with worry on her face dragged him to visit the toilet for the last time.
She struggled, she used every bit of energy and strength.
Back on the bed we cleaned him.
It was dark outside.
My siblings watching with their cellphones lights on like at a concert, but this was a death playing out.
I wept silently for them not being able to touch and kiss him for one more time.
The ambulance arrived and a very qualified medical team arrived.
Tired off being from house to house, helping.
My shock as the female paramedic told me that our oxygen machine was not right and that the levels are lower than i measured.
Yet again I felt that I failed.
Mom was crying, I was crying behind the Glass Curtain,my family was crying. Going to the ambulance at a safe distance. Shouting words of love.
I was the fortunate sister, the first born to get into the ambulance and give him kisses.
I was the last to hold the big hands and tears dropped on them.
I was the last to tell him that I love him.
Outside the family was standing solemnly, tears down their faces.
In a row, screaming
" we love you Daddy-O "
I tore myself away from him, the medical team waited patiently.
By now most probably immune to the horrific scenes playing out in front of them.
This was just another body for them to take away.
They waited in dignity.
I said
"GOODBYE MY DADDY-O AND KISSED HIM"
He shook his head.
There
I FOUND GOD.
I FOUND GOD looking through the "Glass Curtain" where my family showed love without him seeing it.
Then I knew, God can't be seen but we Know that he's near.
I found God through caring for my Dad on his last day with us.
I found God through the medical staff.
I found God looking through the " Glass curtain" staring into the darkness where life carried on and lights flickering in the distance.
I FOUND GOD IN THE WAY THAT THE FAMILY COULDN'T COMFORT OR HOLD EACH OTHER.
WE KNEW THE LOVE AND HURT WE WERE FEELING BUT WE ONLY COULD SEE IT.
You don't have to See God to Know that he's there.
JUST LOOK INSIDE OF YOUR SOUL AND YOU'LL FEEL HIM
God bless
