06/05/2026
Check out the new talent at Pulaski Talks!
FROM THE DESK OF JACK 🐾
Senior Feline Podcast Reviewer
Pulaski Talks
It is my professional obligation — and I use the word "professional" the way one uses the word "fine," which is to say with considerable strain — to announce that Pulaski Talks has acquired new talent.
Her name is Zoey.
She comes to us from the Waynesville Bureau, where she served three months as Chief Napping Correspondent and Head of Threshold Operations for Kitten Division — a scrappy satellite office operating out of a sunny windowsill on Hwy 17, known internally as The Perch.
Her credentials are, I am told, impressive.
At The Perch, Zoey cut her teeth — literally, she was teething, she chewed through two ethernet cables and a spiral notebook — covering the full spectrum of small-town Missouri life. Breaking news. Slow news. News that turned out to be a plastic bag in the wind. She reported on all of it with the same expression, which is the expression you are seeing in this photograph, which is the expression of someone who has already read the memo and found it wanting.
She completed the Division's rigorous three-week certification in Advanced Staring, graduating top of her class in the Sustained Unblinking Disapproval category. She holds a Level Two qualification in Sitting On Important Things, a skill she demonstrated during her final evaluation by parking herself directly on her supervisor's keyboard mid-sentence and refusing all negotiation.
Her senior thesis — delivered orally, at 3am, to no one — was titled: The Strategic Value of Walking Across the Room With Absolute Purpose and Then Forgetting Why.
The review committee was reportedly riveted.
She is a tortoiseshell, which means she contains multitudes, contradictions, and strong opinions about the positioning of her water bowl. Those familiar with tortoiseshell temperament will understand that we did not hire Zoey so much as Zoey selected us, reviewed our terms, found them acceptable pending amendments, and moved in.
The amendments have not been disclosed.
I personally reviewed her application, which consisted of her sitting approximately fourteen inches from my face and holding eye contact for what I can only describe as an unreasonable length of time. She did not blink. I blinked first. She was hired.
She will be covering breaking news, soft features, and any situation requiring someone to sit in a box that is clearly too small for her while maintaining full dignity.
Please welcome Zoey to the Pulaski Talks team.
I am not thrilled about sharing the masthead. But I respect the audacity.
That is all.
— Jack 🐾
Senior Feline Podcast Reviewer
Pulaski Talks
Zoey's opinions are her own and do not reflect the editorial position of Pulaski Talks, though frankly they probably should.
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