08/27/2025
Eiren Crawford, colleague of interest 💜for at least 10 years, is a fabulous trainer and coach. She can train a horse to GP and she speaks the truth here about competitive ups and downs. We know that feeling she is talking about. Feeling so happy that you hug your horse and maybe it wasn’t even your average ride maybe it was hard or less consistent and you are still so happy. That feeling is true too and your horse feels it. Hold on to it. Even if there is lots to work on. Even if the score is way lower than you expected.
Here is a long winded note to my competitive adult amateur friends, musings about something that stayed on my mind during last night's drive home from the competition. This is not new, original thought but I think l just need to say it again.
More than once this weekend I saw friends and clients come out of the arena with giant smiles and high praise for the feeling that their horse gave them in the test. Later, when the scores came out those smiles turned upside down and often were accompanied by frustration and disappointment.
I have absolutely felt the same feelings where I was so pleased with my horse and our performance together, then so disappointed that the judge did not recognize how well I felt we had done. I have shed plenty of tears over disappointing results, but the longer I do this sport competitively, the less personally I take it.
What I can tell you is that the judge only knows you for roughly six minutes. They don't know how long or how complicated your journey has been. The judge doesn't know your horse's history. They don't know your history. Even if they do, they can only judge what they see in that exact moment and judge it on a set standard.
If they see a horse that has limitations or difficulty in movement, connection, balance, they have to score accordingly. They don't know what your horse looked like a year ago.
If they see a horse that looks a little bit off, they have to eliminate it, because welfare of the horse is paramount. Maybe your horse just lost balance for one too many steps and it is actually really sound, but the judge must not take chances there.
It's not personal, it's not a reflection of you and your care and the hard work you put in. It's a job that the judges do and they do their best. I don't think I've ever known a judge who is actually out to get you - even though it can feel like that.
I am still not above frustration and disappointment, but over the years, I have realized that the lense that I look at my ride through is very different than what the judge looks through. I know the struggles that we have overcome to move up a level. I know that there has been improvement in relaxation, uphill carriage, bending, or focus. Maybe we're not fully secure in certain things but compared to where we were 6 months ago, it's AMAZING. That doesn't mean I should be getting a super high score on this particular day. Just because I know we're better than we were before doesn't mean it's a high score.
I recognize that I am fortunate to have a trailer full of talented and beautiful horses to compete on. I've worked very hard to get to this place in my career. And yet, I still absolutely s**t the bed sometimes when I go down center line (ask me about getting three scores of "1" in one test this weekend!). I get scores that are lower for tests that felt so much better than previous rides. Even then, I am still proud of my horses when they try their best for me. And I let myself be proud of me when I feel the improvements, regardless of what the scoreboard shows. I remind myself (sometimes after a small sulk) that each judge is different, and each day is different for the judge.
I am incredibly proud of all of my riders and all of my team when I see the hard work and the improvement even when the judges scores don't reflect it.
To my friends and those who feel down after all their work doesn't feel like it paid off, I encourage you to truly look at your own journey with pride and remember the score is feedback for that moment, it is not everything. It's your relationship with your horse. It's the feedback from your coach and cheers from your friends. It's the way you felt after your final salute. Remember that quiet conversation you had with your horse while you were getting his breakfast ready or mucking her stall. The satisfaction of grooming just the right spot. The feeling of "oh yeah, I just did this movement so much better than yesterday." Remember these moments and feelings, be kind to yourself and the judges, and keep going.
