05/15/2026
Sometimes parenting a competitive kid sucks. Long post warning. She’s 11. Y’all have watched her work so hard just get so beat up… She was heartbroken when she out grew Sam and Ru, and watched them go on to another incredible show home, and there were tears when we ran into them at shows, then she transitioned to a unicorn of a 19yo Arab that taught her how to Canter … then to jump, then got her from amoeba to being ready for Starter division … I sat back watching in a panic because my trainer brain knew Jaylen would find her limit fast with Starr- while that little Arab tries harder than any horse I’ve ever known, we first battled mystery lameness, watching my kid get discouraged, miss a show, the lameness later diagnosed as coffin bone arthritis, got them injected and problem solved , and Jaylen pressed forward and poured everything into her- I watched her work-so hard but in my mind my heart was dropping for her a little bit because I knew looking at that tilted forward pelvis, sprung rib, and swayed back- it’s just too much for the old gal to get round and carry herself - I knew she wasn’t going to get a win in any dressage past intro even if she was extra accurate and rhythmic, just wasn’t gonna happen- even though she could hop around training fences with her eyes closed … I knew Jaylen was working at something that was only going to disappoint her long term. So I had to have the talk, and there were tears, and she had the maturity to give Starr the opportunity to teach other young riders. Starr did her job well for my child- I decided to give Jaylen my 4yo OTTB. He had a liver blockage a week after arriving here at the beginning of last year, then a horrific colic, ulcers, rain rot, weight loss……. After a year of getting him we finally started him - and I gifted him to my 11yo daughter. That was October… and away they went… peas in a pod. Until he first came up lame. An abcess, deep one. More time off, more disappointed kid. Then rain rot where the saddle goes, then everywhere, then lame again, farrier said thin soles, so pads it Is and more time off, eventually not lame, so we start work again, tripping behind, My trainer brain finally goes on alert … I hopefully dismiss it as weakness, assign pole work and strengthening work, things seem ok, we add cavaletti, then attempt crossrails and he’s falling over them, trainer brain goes on alert even more, it feels not normal, maybe just needs more strengthening, maybe dressage prospect (🤷🏻♀️). But inside I know. That sinking feeling when you know one’s not right and probably not ever gonna be “right” for what you want to do…gonna keep strengthening gently. And hoping. Then today happens… I borrow him to teach a longe lesson while Jaylen is at school (my kid would freak if she knew 😆) and I see it…. Pelvic, looked like front left at first and quickly knew it wasn’t… so we dismount and turn the lesson into a lameness evaluation… he flexed fine …. Until we go up high- stifle/hip… upon dropping that leg he was three legged lame trotting off … for a moment then went back to almost normal. I want to cry for her. At his age, having hardly worked at all, and for this lameness to be present still through long periods of rest, farrier work, lameness exams …he’s a good one but he’s not going to be “the one” that is going to meet Jaylens needs. And I can’t watch her heart break anymore right now. So I will postpone the “talk”. Middle school is hard. Kids are mean. And she is not in a good place emotionally already right now. Nope-
We aren’t dumping anymore money on vets, chiro, massage or any more farrier’s to hopefully make him what we need him to be. There comes a time when you know when to say when, and that gets more clear when you have 40 years of experience workin with performance horses- and we are there. He is going to be an incredible youth horse for a beginner that doesn’t want to jump or progress through the levels, but that’s not Jaylen. Probably kick butt in the T.I.P. Dressage or Hunter ring- either one- but that’s not her thing. We will make sure he finds the best match. But I have to try to figure out what to do for her. Kid deserves a break and something special. More than I can afford 😔 Praying God works it out. Praying he’ll send us the right one.
