05/31/2026
Oh, Chase.
I used to think grief would always feel the way it did in the beginning.
Sharp.
Heavy.
Impossible to carry.
Back then, every corner of the house reminded me of you. Every routine felt broken. Every morning started with the painful realization that another day had arrived without the sound of your paws beside me.
The loss felt endless.
Like standing in the middle of a storm that never planned to pass.
I cried over everything.
Your leash hanging by the door.
The toy still tucked beneath the couch.
The empty spot where your bed used to be.
Even the smallest memories could bring me to my knees.
And for a long time, I was afraid.
Afraid that if the grief ever became lighter, it would mean I was forgetting you.
Afraid that healing would somehow take me farther away from the love we shared.
But I understand something now that I didn't understand then.
Grief doesn't leave because love fades.
Grief softens because love learns a new place to live.
It moves from your arms into your heart.
It settles into your memories.
It becomes part of who you are.
I still miss you.
I still have days when a photograph catches me off guard. I still find myself looking toward the door sometimes, expecting to see your familiar face staring back at me with those loving eyes.
Some wounds never disappear completely.
But they change.
The pain that once felt like crashing waves now feels more like the tide.
It still comes.
It still goes.
But it no longer knocks me down every time it arrives.
Instead, it brings memories.
The way your tail wagged when I came home.
The warmth of your body curled beside me on quiet evenings.
The comfort of knowing I was loved by someone who never asked for anything except my presence.
And somehow, those memories hurt less now.
Not because they matter less.
But because they have become gifts instead of reminders of what was lost.
Sometimes, when the evening sky glows with soft colors and the first stars begin to appear, I imagine you beyond the Rainbow Bridge.
Running through endless meadows.
Chasing butterflies carried on warm breezes.
Free from pain.
Free from time.
Waiting patiently with the same loyal heart that loved me here.
The tears still come occasionally.
But now they arrive alongside gratitude.
Because what a beautiful thing it was to love you this much.
What a miracle it was to share part of my life with you.
And what a blessing it is to know that even though grief remains, it has become gentler.
Softer.
Warmer.
Like a hand resting quietly over my heart.
A reminder that love never truly leaves.
It simply changes shape.
And in that softer grief, I still find you every single day. 🌈🐾