26/12/2025
Both good and bad manners become your dogs belief in the rules. Be careful what you allow even when they are young pups.
What You Allow in Your Presence Is Your Standard
And Your Dog Knows Exactly What That Means
There’s a quote that floats around leadership circles, military training, business coaching, and whether people realise it or not, dog training:
“What you allow in your presence is your standard.”
It sounds simple. Almost too simple.
But when it comes to dogs, this one sentence explains far more behaviour problems than most people care to admit.
Because dogs don’t listen to what we say.
They pay attention to what we allow.
And therein lies the rub.
Dogs Are Brilliant Pattern-Spotters (Unfortunately for Us)
Dogs are not moral creatures. They are not stubborn, dominant, manipulative, or “testing you”.
They are exceptionally good at spotting patterns.
If a behaviour:
• happens repeatedly
• receives no consequence
• is occasionally successful
…then as far as the dog is concerned, it’s an approved behaviour.
Not because you like it.
Not because you trained it.
But because you allowed it.
Your dog doesn’t need consistency in rules.
They need consistency in outcomes.
Allowance Is Training (Whether You Like It or Not)
Here’s where many owners get uncomfortable.
Most unwanted behaviours are not taught deliberately.
They are taught by tolerance.
Let’s look at some everyday examples.
Example 1: Jumping Up
• Dog jumps up at visitors.
• Owner says, “Oh, he’s just excited.”
• Dog occasionally gets fuss, eye contact, laughter, or hands on chest.
Result?
Jumping works sometimes.
Congratulations, you’ve just created a variable reinforcement schedule for jumping.
That behaviour is now robust, persistent, and very hard to extinguish.
Your standard wasn’t “no jumping”.
Your standard was “jumping is acceptable under certain conditions”.
Your dog understood that perfectly.
Example 2: Pulling on the Lead
• Dog pulls.
• Owner tightens lead, carries on walking.
• Dog reaches the sniff, lamp post, or other dog anyway.
Result?
Pulling moves the world closer.
You may dislike pulling, but you allow it to succeed.
Your standard isn’t “walk nicely”.
Your standard is “pulling works eventually”.
Again, crystal clear to the dog.
Example 3: Reactivity
This one really stings.
• Dog barks, lunges, explodes.
• Owner tightens lead, panics, soothes, apologises to the dog.
• Other dog goes away.
From the dog’s perspective:
• Big display
• Owner gets emotional
• Threat disappears
That behaviour just worked.
Now, I’m not saying the dog is “being naughty”.
But I am saying that what you allowed in that moment became the standard.
Standards Are Not Rules, They Are Repeated Outcomes
Many owners believe they have rules:
“He’s not allowed on the sofa.”
“She knows she shouldn’t bark.”
“He knows better.”
Dogs don’t live by house rules pinned to the fridge.
They live by what happens next.
If a behaviour:
• is ignored
• laughed at
• managed instead of trained
• excused because the dog is tired, young, stressed, excited, old, or “having a day”
…then that behaviour is being maintained.
Not maliciously.
Not deliberately.
But very effectively.
Your Emotional State Is Part of the Standard
Here’s the uncomfortable bit for handlers and trainers.
Dogs don’t just learn what behaviours are allowed.
They learn what emotional responses are allowed too.
If:
• you panic, your dog learns panic
• you hesitate, your dog learns uncertainty
• you negotiate, your dog learns resistance
• you escalate, your dog learns conflict
Calm, consistent leadership sets a standard before a command is ever given.
That’s why two people can handle the same dog and get wildly different results.
The dog hasn’t changed.
The standard has.
“But I Don’t Want to Be Harsh”
Good.
You shouldn’t be.
Standards are not about shouting, punishment, or dominance displays.
They’re about clarity.
Clear standards are:
• predictable
• fair
• consistent
• unemotional
Dogs actually relax when standards are clear.
Ambiguity is stressful.
Inconsistency is confusing.
Negotiation invites chaos.
Structure isn’t cruel.
It’s calming.
Working Dogs Understand This Instinctively
In working dog environments, military, police, search and rescue, this principle is non-negotiable.
If a handler allows:
• sloppy positions
• delayed responses
• environmental fixation
…those become the working standard.
And working dogs will work to the standard presented.
Pet dogs are no different.
They just have far more opportunity to train their humans instead.
Raising Your Standard Raises Your Dog
Here’s the good news.
Standards are not fixed.
They are adjustable.
The moment you:
• stop allowing rehearsal of unwanted behaviour
• start rewarding what you actually want
• manage the environment while training clarity
• become consistent in outcome rather than intention
…your dog adapts.
Not because you became stricter.
But because you became clearer.
A Final Thought
Your dog is not asking for perfection.
They’re asking for:
• guidance
• consistency
• leadership they can trust
Every interaction sets a standard.
Every allowance teaches something.
Every repetition reinforces a belief.
So the next time a behaviour crops up and you think,
“I’ll let that slide just this once”…
Remember:
What you allow in your presence is your standard.
And your dog is always paying attention.
