09/15/2026
SO TRUE!!!😆
WHEN YOUR FRIEND IS IN THE RING…
Because apparently I cannot just sit there and behave like somebody with home training.
Friend: “Will you watch me?”
Me: “Absolutely!”
Because apparently, “absolutely” is dog-show language for “I’m about to handle you, your dog, and possibly the judge from outside the ring.”
The moment she enters, I become an unpaid assistant handler, movement coach, ringside prophet, and licensed interpreter of every eyebrow the judge raises.
Judge: “Take them around, please.”
Me from ringside, whisper-yelling: “SLOW DOWN! LET HIM SETTLE!”
I’m leaning so hard to the left, you’d think I could steer her with my body.
She turns toward the judge.
I sit up straighter.
She stacks the front too wide.
Now I’m squeezing my knees together and silently mouthing:
“FIX. THAT. FOOT.”
She doesn’t see me.
So naturally, I begin demonstrating.
From my chair.
With my own feet.
Like she’s going to glance outside the ring, study my lower body, and suddenly understand the emergency.
Person beside me: “Are you okay?”
Me: “No. His left rear is in Tennessee.”
The judge asks for the down and back.
I lean forward.
She takes off too fast.
I start patting the air like I’m trying to land a small aircraft.
Me: “Easy…easy…EASY…”
She’s not looking at me.
The dog’s not looking at me.
The judge is definitely looking at me.
But at this point, I’m committed.
She comes back and nearly walks straight into the judge’s leg.
I gasp so loudly the steward starts looking for an AED.
Friend’s husband: “Can she even hear you?”
Me: “Not with her ears—but hopefully with her spirit.”
Then comes the free stack.
This is where I completely lose whatever dignity I carried into the building.
I’m crouched beside the ring, tilting my head, lifting my chin, pointing toward the ceiling, and silently begging:
“EARS! GET THE EARS!”
The dog looks directly at me.
Finally—someone inside that ring recognizes the real professional.
He perks up beautifully.
My friend looks over, sees me folded sideways like a woman trying to dodge a collection plate, and gives me the look.
You know the one.
The one that says:
“If you don’t sit your unhinged behind down, I’m going to beat you with this lucky lead.”
Then the judge points.
She wins.
I jump up screaming like I personally gaited that dog, held the lead, paid the entry fee, and corrected that left rear from twenty feet away using nothing but prayer and aggressive body language.
My friend comes out of the ring.
Me: “See? I told you we had it!”
Friend: “You nearly fell over three chairs.”
Me: “And yet…we won.”
That’s friendship in the dog-show world.
One person handles the dog.
The other performs a full-body exorcism from ringside.
And yes, I am notorious for this.
If you ask me to watch you show, understand that I will not be merely watching.
I will be handling you telepathically—and throwing my back out doing it.
© 2026 Letha Anne | EverCrest Kennels