10/30/2026
Just imagine…
You’re terrified, and you turn to the most important person in your life for comfort. They turn away.
“There’s nothing to be scared of.” “I’m not giving you attention because you’ll only get scared more often.” “Harden up.” “I’m not mollycoddling you.”
How would that make you feel? Would it affect your relationship with that person?
Now imagine being a dog, scared and vulnerable, looking to your trusted human for reassurance, only to have them turn away when you need them most.
Fear is an emotion. Emotions cannot be reinforced. Behaviour can. Comforting a scared dog does not reinforce their fear.
Fear is an unpleasant, aversive emotional state. It’s not something a dog enjoys or wants to experience. The idea that you need to ignore your dog’s fear to prevent them from becoming more fearful simply doesn’t reflect how emotions work.
What happens when you comfort your scared dog?
They may feel safer, supported and comforted. You’re showing them that when things feel frightening, they have someone they can trust. That matters for your relationship.
What about giving them treats?
Two things might happen. Your dog may be too frightened to eat, in which case, don’t push it. Or they may be able to eat, giving you an opportunity to create a more positive association with whatever is frightening them.
With appropriate timing and careful management, food can be part of desensitisation and counterconditioning, helping your dog feel less afraid over time.
So, if your dog is scared:
💜 Help them move away from what is frightening them.
💜 Offer comfort and reassurance.
💜 Offer treats if they’re comfortable enough to eat.
💜 Give them the support they need, without forcing them to face their fears.
This is a simplified explanation, but the message is important.
You cannot reinforce an emotion by offering comfort. You can, however, help your dog feel safe, supported and secure.
Your dog doesn’t need you to teach them that their fear is inconvenient. They need you to be someone they can turn to when the world feels frightening.
If your dog regularly experiences fear, seek help from a veterinary behaviourist or a qualified force-free trainer who can help you understand their needs and develop an appropriate plan.
Choose kindness. Be their safe place. 💜
