08/06/2026
OFFICIAL MEMO
From the Desk of Cinnabon
Acting Air Quality Monitor & Whisker-Based Environmental Specialist
To: All Humans, Volunteers, Cats, Kittens, and Other Interested Parties
I would like to provide an official update regarding air quality conditions at the shelter.
First, I must address the rumors.
I have become aware that Thor has made allegations suggesting I have been turning off the air purifiers. I would like to formally deny these accusations.
As many of you know, I am blind and conduct all inspections using my highly advanced senses of smell, hearing, and whisker detection. While I have occasionally attempted to make adjustments to the air purifiers, it is hardly my fault that the power button feels suspiciously similar to all the other buttons. Any shutdowns that may have occurred were purely accidental and should be classified as equipment design flaws.
After several weeks of investigation, I am pleased to report that air quality appears to be holding steady.
This is especially impressive considering the kittens continue to grow larger every day and are collectively consuming what seems like a significant portion of the building's available oxygen supply.
I have also observed excellent work from the volunteer staff. Every day I can hear humans cleaning the washable filters. The regular maintenance appears to be helping the air purifiers perform at their best, and I encourage everyone to continue this important work.
During my inspection rounds, I also gathered information regarding the trailer that houses the general population cats. Reports indicate that space could benefit from an additional air purifier to help keep conditions comfortable for the residents.
Naturally, I conducted further research.
By "research," I mean I listened to humans talking and then checked the Amazon Wish List while standing on someone's keyboard.
I can confirm that air purifiers are still listed as a needed item. The cats living in the trailer would be incredibly grateful for another purifier to help keep the air fresh and comfortable.
This issue is particularly important to me because many of the kittens from my building eventually move to the trailer after they are spayed and neutered. I understand their concerns and feel strongly that they deserve the best air quality possible.
Overall, I believe I am settling into my new role quite nicely. It is a great honor to continue the work started by Thor, and I am committed to serving as Acting Air Quality Monitor until I, too, find my forever home.
Thank you for your continued support of clean air, happy cats, and properly maintained filters.
Respectfully,
Cinnabon
Acting Air Quality Monitor
Whisker-Based Environmental Assessment Division
Ouabache Valley Felines & Friends
P.S. If anyone asks, I absolutely did not turn off the purifier yesterday. I was conducting a tactile button identification exercise.
P.P.S. Squeaky said to add she is still waiting for a chicken delivery but she will happily check in an air purifier delivery but will expect extra chicken.
Link to donate for airpurifiers: https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/cinnabons-air-purifiers
