02/27/2026
Earlier today, deputies responded to Major Dave Friddell’s office after a stuffed lamb ( aka Lamby) was discovered face down on the carpet in what investigators are calling an “organized squeaker crime scene with intent to defluff.” 🐾🚔
The scene was disturbing.
Stuffing is scattered across the floor.
Lamby was fully compromised.
There were zero signs of forced entry.
After a careful analysis of the debris pattern, bite radius, and advanced snack-based profiling.
We can confirm Deputy Moby is the prime suspect. 🐾
The motive was the squeaker. It's always the squeaker.
The opportunity simply happened to be an unsupervised for 42 second window. That was enough.
And frankly, the tail wag during questioning raised additional concerns.
Deputy Moby refused to answer questions, citing an ongoing squeaker investigation, and reminded deputies he is “innocent until proven fetchable.” He then demanded belly rubs and representation.
The investigation remains active.
The carpet has been vacuumed.
Trust has been shaken.
Nap time is pending.