04/07/2026
This one was from mid January:
TLDR: Horses are jerks.
Sigh. I love horses. Really. I dreamed of this life when I was young. What was I thinking?! We're in a cold snap in Upstate NY. I'm not really upstate, I'm sort of midstate. I identify as a Berkshire resident, just on the wrong side of the border. Anyway, I have electric fencing, seems like miles of it. And all my horses are fairly respectful of it. If I had to give them a score, it would be a 7.0. I digress.
This week our sweetest 27 year old most un-mare like mare went into heat. On Tuesday I found the 4 geldings in the next paddock over IN her paddock and of course 2 of them were courting her while her roommate stood in the corner doing nothing about it.
Now her roommate was gelded at 13 so what the heck. The two romancing her - one was gelded at 6 and the other gelded at 5 months. I can understand the one gelded late, he has foals on the ground, but the 5 monther? Meanwhile hubby has massive urgent work project so I'm alone with this havoc.
So I call her owner and she hops in the car and zips over to help. While I'm waiting for her, I manage to catch the two non involved geldings and shove them back in their paddock and attempt to fix the fence. I forgot to turn off said fence and get zapped to high heaven. Ouch. Well at least we know it's working.
Trudge all the way to the barn through the snow and unplug fence. Stopped at house to get boots because clogs definitely don't do it in the snow but they are so much easier to put on. Trudge back to paddock and now the non involved geldings are back in the wrong paddock.
Fortunately boarder arrives and we catch all unruly geldings and put them back where they belong. Fix fence while trying to keep the wind from pulling it out of frozen fingers. Commence pathetic whinnying for each other for the rest of the day.
Dogs MUST alert me that the horses are calling for each other, something must be up!!! Give dogs chews to try and shut them up. It works, sort of.
Wednesday morning mare and roommate are in the big pasture with the four geldings. Remember to put on boots, yay! Call in sick to office job. Claim mental health day. Run lines and ensure actual zappage. All good. Sort horses out, give extra hay to encourage good behavior. Assume one of the two Romeos aren't getting zapped through their blankets. Assume it is the 5 monther because he's chestnut and always has his w***y out. I made his poor owner test him for testosterone before he came for training due to study behavior. His levels are normal, but he apparently doesn't believe in science.
Put him in way far away paddock with two other geldings. Thursday the mare and roommate are in the big pasture again. Ah ha! It's the other Romeo. Swap him with the Romeo the younger. Everything is good for the day. Friday everyone is in the paddock with the mare and her roommate. Sort horses out again. Thank god everyone gets along, some a little too well if you know what I mean.
Put original pasture mates back together and assume it's the last remaining blanketed gelding, who doesn't seem interested in the mare at all. All is good. Saturday morning. Everyone is in the big pasture again. ARGH.
Sort everyone out, fix the fence, and as I start the trudge to the barn to plug the fence back in, I SEE THE NAKED MARE LEAN ON THE FENCE AND POP ALL THE INSULATORS OFF THAT LINE AND WALK THROUGH LIKE IT'S A BEADED CURTAIN IN A 70's LOVE NEST. So now the mare and her roommate are in the way faraway paddock with an entire pasture between them and any of the other geldings and the far away geldings are in the paddock that shares a line with the Romeos.
Unfortunately, by switching the faraway geldings closer I had to use a different water trough. The two of them are the equivalent of 12 ADHD toddlers on a Christmas sugar binge so they need a drainplug heater so they can't reach the cord. God only knows what they would do with a moveable heater.
So I had to pull the hose out of the basement, which conveniently was frozen shut and I had to open with a blowtorch. Fortunately the basement doors are metal but the grass at the base of them is not. I did only catch on fire a few times while jumping up and down on the basement hatch trying to crack the frozen seal.
The basement smells like smoke. Hubby leaves super urgent job for a second to make sure house isn't on fire and catches me looking like a gorilla releasing all it's frustration on an inanimate object while bundled up in so many clothes he wasn't sure it was me. So Merry Christmas everyone. Wish me luck. I'm currently shopping for an elephant level fence charger. Send recommendations. Photo of me putting the tractor just a little too close to the gate to open it to go in with fence supplies.
