09/15/2020
Sometimes we think we are just helping animals.
In March 2020, we picked our autistic daughter up from school and her world changed overnight. A child that had had years of intense 1:1 therapy to even leave the house was now shut in, with no peers, undoing everything she'd worked so hard for.
Several months in, we decided a pet of her own might help with the increasing meltdowns and panic. Having already gotten one amazing animal from Homeward Bound, we asked again for a kitten. Terri had endless conversations with me about just the right kitten, and "Posie" was loaded on the transport from Mississippi to Connecticut.
This kitten could not be a better fit. Renamed Kitty Baby by her adoring new mother, she is everything we needed. She sleeps in our daughter's arms. She sits on her lap to watch TV. She rests beside her as she eats. If she cannot find her mama, she cries for her. Liza feeds "baby," brushes her, and makes sure she can always find her favorite toys. When Liza cries and rages, Baby shows up. She crawls onto this crying child and calms her. Many autistic kids, Liza included, use weighted blankets and vests for calming and centering. All day long, she now has a weighted lap pad, never far from her side. She's calmer. She sleeps better. She eats better. Our beloved Kitty Baby has been the most effective therapy she's had. When preparing for bed at night, she knows Baby won't come until teeth are brushed and she is calm in bed. She complies. Then the cat that already responds when she's called comes running into the room, jumps on the bed, and curls up with her girl, where she stays all night. When Liza wakes (far too early!) she calmly sits in bed with Baby, stroking her and talking to her. A child that cannot communicate with her peers has no shortage of things to tell this kitten. And through Kitty Baby, I hear my daughter. I hear what she's thinking, what she's scared of, what she dreamed about, even what she wants to do or wear that day! Kitty Baby is like a diary into the mind of this sometimes unreachable child.
Through Kitty Baby, she has learned to be gentle. She has learned to provide care for another creature. And she has a friend. She has a safe space. She has a grounding presence in her chaotic and overwhelmed mind and heart.
This profoundly beloved kitten is endlessly patient as we repeat "open hands, gentle hugs." She does not scratch, bite, or hiss. She accepts that she exists for this child, and this child for her. She is never far from Liza's side, or her heart.
In Judaism, the word beshert is used to mean something inevitable, something preordained by a higher power than ourselves. Kitty Baby is truly Liza's beshert.
