04/28/2025
Nailed it 😂😂😂
I've come to the conclusion that you never really know someone...until you see their horse get loose at a show.
It started with a sound, a metallic clink, a frantic scramble, a saddle pad catching the wind like a pirate flag.
Then came the cry.
From somewhere across the warm-up ring, in agonizing slow motion:
"WE HAVE A RUUUUUUUUUUUUNAWAAAAY!!"
Heads whipped around.
Parents clutched their children.
No one knows their true athletic potential until they hear the words, 'Hey... isn't that your horse?'
You can train for years, lift weights, run marathons... but nothing unlocks your final form like seeing your horse loose on the showgrounds.
A woman dropped her tall Caramel Macchiato with extra whip, and ran.
It was her horse.
Of course it was her horse.
The same horse who, just this morning, had refused to walk past a puddle.
Now galloping with the chaotic grace of a drunk pegasus.
And she, who normally needed three reminders to pick up the canter, became a heat-seeking missile with a lead rope.
Gone was the woman who once needed encouragement to "be a little quicker off the aids."
In her place:
Jason Bourne with breeches.
A suburban gazelle.
A tactical unit fueled solely by sheer, primal horror.
She hurdled hay bales and small children.
She slid under a sponsors banner like an action hero escaping an explosion.
She parkoured off a mounting block like she'd trained her whole life for this single, stupid moment.
The horse zigged. She zagged.
The crowd gasped.
Someone’s Great Aunt Cheryl fainted near the Porta-Potties.
And just when it seemed the gods of chaos would win,
she launched herself, full Superman form, grabbed the reins, skidded fifteen feet across the gravel, and stuck the landing like an Olympic gymnast with an unpaid vet bill.
Silence.
A single folding chair toppled in the breeze.
Then, scattered applause.
She stood up, hair full of footing, eyes wild, holding her horse like a Viking brandishing a captured enemy.
Some say she never even warmed up after that.
She just dusted herself off, tacked up, saluted the judge, and went straight down centerline, and pulled off the best test of her life.
All we know is you don’t choose to be a hero.
Sometimes, your horse chooses for you.