10/16/2026
Please understand that these posts are for ME. They are my way of expressing my grief, my pain, and everything I have been forced to endure. If you cannot or do not want to read them, I respectfully ask that you simply keep scrolling.
I have another court day on Tuesday and I feel like it will be another  continuance. 
I cannot wait for the day when I can bring everything I have uncovered into the light—the corruption, the alleged fraud, the deception, and the heartbreaking events that have unfolded since December.
What hurts me most is knowing that organizations calling themselves rescues, organizations that are supposed to protect innocent animals, were involved in or stood by while Meadow Haven Horse Rescue and Sanctuary’s animals were taken from everything they had ever known. I believe some of these individuals knew exactly what was happening and chose to do nothing because hurting me mattered more than protecting the animals.
Ten, possibly eleven, precious lives have now been lost. These were not just numbers. They were living, breathing souls who trusted us to protect them. They deserved compassion, dignity, and a chance to live. Instead, their lives ended under circumstances that I believe should never have happened.
And what about the MHHR horses I have reason to believe were sold right back into the slaughter pipeline? What about the donkeys who had called Meadow Haven home for nearly a decade, only to be scattered and discarded as though they were nothing more than old shoes?
They were not disposable. They were loved. They were family. And they mattered. And they all had names.
To those who knew what was happening and had the opportunity to intervene, I hope one day you truly understand the suffering these animals endured and the heartbreak left behind.
I am hurting more than words can possibly express. I believe some of those responsible know how deeply this has devastated me, and at times it feels as though my suffering is exactly what they wanted.
I have tried to remain quiet about the pain. I have tried to be strong. I have tried to hold everything together while fighting battles I never imagined I would have to fight.
But I cannot keep pretending that I am okay. Because I am not.
A therapist I have been talking with suggested that I start writing a journal to help process everything I have experienced. Instead, I have chosen to share my thoughts here. This is my journal. This is my outlet. This is how I am trying to cope with the grief, anger, heartbreak, and injustice that have consumed so much of my life.
For 22 years, I dedicated my heart and soul to saving animals that others had given up on. I gave them a home, safety, love, and a place where they could live out their lives knowing they mattered.
To watch so much of that be torn apart has broken something inside me that I am still trying to put back together.
I will continue searching for answers. I will continue documenting what happened. And when the time is right, I intend to bring the evidence into the light.
I will not forget the lives that were lost. I will not forget the animals who were taken. And I will never stop loving the ones who called Meadow Haven home.
If sharing my pain helps me survive another day of this nightmare, then I am going to keep writing.
Because this is my story, my grief, and my way of finding the strength to keep fighting.
