07/07/2020
This is a really great read from Sean O'Shea.
Yesterday I was out walking three of my personal dogs and one client dog through the French Quarter. I must have heard 10 times some version of âWow, theyâre all so well behavedâ as we trotted through the crowded streets.
At our first stop for coffee, we approached our local shop as one of the patrons sitting outside attempted to hold on to their barking and lunging, rather large lab mix. The patronâs dog had spotted us crossing the street, and while still at a good distance the dog was having a serious explosion. The owner held on, and as is all too familiar, spoke many lengthy sentences of mild admonishments, along with comforting remarks about how âit would all be okay.â Not once was there a consequence for the behavior; nothing that might discourage what was obviously embarrassing to the owner, and highly concerning to all the other guests. The dog simply lunged and barked and strained to get away from the human tether restraining it, and get to us.
The dog had a prong collar on, but it wasnât employed in a fashion where it would have benefitted either party. Many owners just use them to make the pulling a bit less brutal, the jarring of their joints a bit more tolerable. But at no point was it used in a way that would have discouraged the dog from being a full blown maniacâa behavior that looked well-rehearsed on the dogâs end, and embarrassingly accepted on the ownerâs.
That all said, this isnât a post to celebrate my status as a dog handler, and to shame the public for their lack of skills. In fact, Iâve been on the other end. I know what itâs like to be holding the âmaniacâ, and doing it all wrong. But, that was 20 years ago. In that time the availability of free information for anyone interested in finding it, has changed dramatically. But thatâs not the only thing that has changed. As a society, weâve changed. Weâve determined that weâre all highly fragile, and whether it be a child, a dog, or another adultâweâve decided we all must be sheltered and protected from the evils of negative consequencesâbecause the fallout of being truly accountable is simply too dangerous. What if they break?
And this is truly the point of this post. We donât have an absence of information, and we donât have a financial barrier to it. (Search prong collar tutorials on YouTube and youâll be busy for the next 2 months.) What we do have is a mindset thatâs slowly been programmed into us: all are fragile, therefor all must be protected. Thatâs the barrier. Weâre so terrified of hurting our dogs, kids, and other adults feelingsâand their delicate spiritsâthat instead of making them better, more accountable, healthier, and stronger, we do the opposite. We make them less than what they could beâless healthy, less accountable, and far less resilient and strong.
This accepted fragility is ruining society on many fronts. Just look at college campuses. Safe spaces, micro-aggressions, the overwhelming fear of saying anything non-PC or anything that could be construedâespecially with great effort and proper trainingâas hurtful and damaging. All the chickens are coming home to roost. Everywhere. Our dogs are simply collateral damage of the meek, safe, terrified cultural we currently inhabit.
But I digress.
Hereâs the thing, all those compliments about the well-behaved dogs I was enjoying walking through a multitude of challenging situations, were bathed in amazement. How could you get 4 dogs to all behave so well, when most canât get one to? As if I was levitating rather than walking a few dogs. The answer: by doing all the things 99% of the onlookers and complimenters would recoil at. Consequences. Valuable ones. Consequences which are uncomfortable enough to change negative behavior. Consequences which would make a dog momentarily unsure, worried, and keenly self-aware of their future choices. You know, the âugly stuff.â
I smiled to myself as each compliment came our way. This group of happy, fun, big-life-living dogs were making so many others smile at the sight of what was possible. I smiled because I knew the irony of it all. Everyone loved the results, but few-to-none would have been willing to share what was necessary to get there.
Weâre interesting creatures. Deep down, we know how things work, regardless of the programming telling us otherwise. But because weâd rather live the comfortable fairy tale, and always feel good, weâre willing to suspend common sense, buy the story, and avoid exploring how to make things truly better. After all, itâs the enlightened, advanced, âkindâ thing to do. Even if all it does is a multitude of unkindness to all those around us.
