02/08/2020
My next chapter. I know what I would like to do, but I also see all the obstacles lying in front of me that do their best to keep me from moving forward. Will I let them block my potential and keep me from my dreams? Only time will tell, but one thing I can say for sure is this; this year will not be like the last.
The past year or so I have worked on and off with different jobs without really any real progress towards what I want to do with my life. Having my daughter, now two years old, I don’t want to miss another second of being able to raise her simply to go to work at a job that isn’t getting me anywhere. The boyfriend needs help with bills and has made it clear that he does not make enough nor does he truly believe in the idea of me becoming a full time stay at home mother. I know he isn’t trying to be selfish, he was raised differently than I was. I am very fortunate to have been raised how I was, and even through some of the more painful pieces of my past I have gained a lot of understanding and maturity that otherwise I might not have.
Despite these painful things happening in my life I have managed to maintain a mostly positive outlook. I can thank most of it to the fact that I am in fact very strongly an empathetic soul. Sometimes too much, so even when I’ve been hurt I sometimes create excuses for the behaviors of others. No more.
So as for my next chapter that shall be one of my goals; I will not let other people hurt me, then create excuses for their behavior to undermine the pain they have caused. I deserve better, and just because I can understand the reason they did it does not make it excusable.
Goal number two. I will achieve the financial success I desire, while not missing another moment of my daughter’s upbringing. I will not pursue careers that take what precious time I have with my girl. I will not settle for a job that does not fit the parameters of my life. I have settled for too little in too many areas of my life, sacrificed too much to continue down this same path knowing where it leads. I am going to pursue my dreams.
Lastly, goal number 3. I will make the time and put forth the effort to pursue my hobbies and dreams. I will make the time I’ve wanted to have in order to spend time with my family. I will have enough money, the necessary equipment, and the energy to finally move my horse to a boarding barn so I can work with him like I have always wanted. He will not sit idly without the love and attention he deserves any longer. His potential will not be wasted anymore.
Now that I finally have these goals written down, it’s time to put my nose to the grind and start moving with it! Time to catch up with my dreams!
