02/04/2022
Definitely, this!!
So many owners struggle with being fully committed, resolute, non-negotiable. They worry that they will hurt their dog’s feelings, damage their relationship, or are just unsure if following through is right or wrong.
And while I get all the concerns, the reality is, if you’re attempting to work through something—say getting your dog acclimated to the crate, getting your dog acclimated to the prong, getting your dog acclimated to the muzzle, getting your dog acclimated to remaining on place, or countless other challenges—if any of the above are approached tepidly, with uncertainty, or hesitation, you better be prepared for your dog to read that information…and run with it.
This of course isn’t promoting some heavy handed, sloppy, nuance-free, abusive approach to whatever you’re working on, BUT, for many, many owners—especially if the dog decides he or she doesn’t care for what’s being worked on and throws a fit—simply following through and being non-negotiable makes many owners feel precisely this way. And that creates the tepid, hesitant, uncertain approach, which then creates the opening in the dog’s mind for even more protest, and tantrum throwing.
Which basically leaves you both in no man’s land. You won’t push enough to get over the hump, and your dog, seeing this, will push however hard enough to ensure this stalemate remains. In other words, your hesitancy invites more resistance—and many owners, feeling uncomfortable and unsure, never get past this space, and so they and their dog continue to struggle.
Like I said, this isn’t about being heavy handed, but it’s also not about being a permissive doormat. There’s a sweet spot to be found. And that sweet spot in almost every case I come across is missed in favor of going too soft, too easy, and too hesitant. Which is why so many problem behaviors are sorted once a dog enters our program. We’re able to find that sweet spot and ensure the dog isn’t playing us, which means we end up with the dog’s best, rather than their best emotional chess game.
I’d encourage all owners who are struggling with getting over a training hump to take some time to truly self-evaluate. And to also remember two things: one, dogs aren’t nearly as fragile as most make them out to be. And two, dogs will play you like a fiddle if you’re available for the playing. :)
