10/14/2026
After 25+ years of trimming horses, I've come to the conclusion that I went into the wrong toenail business. I should have been trimming Chihuahuas. 😂
People routinely pay $20–$40 to have their dog's toenails trimmed, and nobody bats an eye. Meanwhile, I have the absolute AUDACITY to charge $95 to crawl underneath a 1,000-pound animal that could turn me into a pancake because a butterfly farted three counties away.
THE GREED! THE OUTRAGE! SOMEBODY CALL THE AUTHORITIES! 😂
But seriously, let's do some math.
Dogs generally need their nails trimmed every 3–4 weeks. At $30 every four weeks, that's $390 a year.
The average farrier charges around $60 for a basic trim. At an eight-week schedule, that's ALSO $390 a year.
SIXTY DOLLARS to drive to someone's barn, trim and balance four hooves, and hope a suspicious-looking leaf doesn't send half a ton of horse into a complete meltdown.
And my scandalous $95? That's LESS THAN $12 A WEEK for 25+ years of experience and the privilege of hopefully going home with all my bones in their original positions. 😂
WHAT A SCAM!
Now, before the dog groomers come after me, I LOVE YOU GUYS! I'm not saying you're overcharging. I've met enough Chihuahuas to know some of you deserve combat pay.
I'm saying farriers have been undercharging for far too long.
Horses are a luxury. That doesn't mean their owners are wealthy. Believe me, I own enough hay-burning money pits to understand financial suffering on a deeply personal level. But why should farriers be expected to subsidize horse ownership with their own financial security?
Our bills aren't any cheaper than yours, and our bodies take a beating. We'd like to afford health insurance, save for retirement, and maybe even get there with a few functioning joints. 😂
So HUG YOUR FARRIER! TIP YOUR FARRIER! Have your horses caught and ready, and maybe offer them a cold drink. Or a hot one!
And if they look a little stiff when you go in for that hug, give them a minute. They may need help standing upright first. 😂
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go risk being flattened by an oversized grass-powered flight animal so I can afford to feed my own oversized grass-powered flight animals. 😂
And yes this is an AI-generated picture.
