03/19/2026
In the span of a month, I lost Charlie, Abraham, Harvey, and all my chickens. For a time, life lost all its color. The holidays felt like just another day. All my food tasted like cardboard no matter how many spices I added. No amount of sleep ever seemed like enough. And for a brief second I felt myself slip back into to that all too familiar place of “everything is pointless, there’s too much pain, I hate it here.”
Now I’m in a place where I only believe part of that statement to be true. Everything probably is pointless in this backwards ass world, but I’m still going to look for fleeting moments of beauty anywhere I can find them. There is too much pain… in this world, in my body, and in my head. I can’t change that, and it sucks, but one day this WILL be over and I don’t need to rush that. And maybe I don’t hate everything about being “here.” There are still plants, and cats, and puppies, and art of all kinds “here,” and that is a gift to be enjoyed. I hope there’s beauty wherever you are. The world at large is a cesspool, so I hope your personal sphere of life is safe from all the garbage. I likely don’t know you, the person reading this, and I definitely don’t know for sure if God is real. I’m just an idiot human on a floating rock. But I do pray for all of us every night, and I hope wherever you are, that you’re doing ok. 💜
Today I’m going to miss my dogs and make art. And that’s enough for now.