08/28/2026
Normal people before work:
🍳 Eggs
🥞 Pancakes
🍞 Toast
☕️ Coffee
Maybe some fruit because they “care about their bodies” or whatever.
Meanwhile, veterinary technicians preparing for another beautiful day of healing animals:
💊 NSAID for the back
💊 Pain meds for whatever happened to my shoulder in 2019
⚡️ Red Bull because sleep is apparently a privilege, not a biological requirement
🫠 Absolutely no food because I woke up 11 minutes before I had to leave
Shake vigorously on an empty stomach and report immediately to the ER for a 12-hour shift of lifting 90-pound Labradors, crawling underneath kennels, getting bit by a Chihuahua, manually restraining something with the strength of a silverback gorilla, and saying “I’m fine” every time a coworker hears your joints make the sound of a bag of microwave popcorn.
By 10 AM, the Red Bull has replaced approximately 73% of my blood volume.
By noon, my lower back has submitted its resignation.
By 3 PM, I’ve eaten half a granola bar I found in my scrub pocket that may or may not be from this calendar year.
By 7 PM, I’m held together entirely by caffeine, pharmaceuticals, medical tape, and the overwhelming need to see how this one critical patient turns out.
Doctors recommend starting your day with a balanced breakfast.
I recommend starting it with whatever combination of substances allows you to successfully get your compression socks on without making a noise.
✨ VETERINARY MEDICINE ✨
Come for the animals.
Stay because your knees no longer have the structural integrity required to leave.
