07/09/2025
Okay this is going to be a long one so bear with me. A couple days ago, something happened that rattled me a bit. My sonās horse, normally a very sweet, trustworthy mare who has always safely toted him around, reared with him. This is COMPLETELY out of character for her. Sheās as steady as they come, and Iāve always trusted her with my kiddos.
Thankfully, my son (whoās almost six and a little badass) handled it incredibly well. He listened to me, stayed calm, and did exactly what he needed to do. Iām so proud of him. But I also knew right away that this wasnāt just bad behavior. Something was wrong. And hereās something I think is really important to say: sudden changes in behavior are almost always a sign of pain or a medical issue. It is so easy to label something like this as the horse ābeing badā or āacting up,ā but horses donāt do that out of nowhere, especially not the good, steady ones weāve come to trust.
If your horse suddenly starts behaving differentlyāresisting, acting out, shutting downāplease listen to them. Donāt just reach for a harsher bit or a different training method. Bring in your vet. Call your chiropractor, farrier, dentist, whoever you trust on your care team. Get eyes on the situation from a health perspective. We owe it to them to ask why before we assume what.
In our case, we chose to start with the chiropractor because Iād dealt with something really similar in another horse a while back. The chiropractor found issues in her neck and after her adjustment, she was like a different horse and back to our sweet girl. Relaxed. Bright-eyed. Comfortable again.
I always give a day off after an adjustment, so yesterday was the first time she got worked since. She felt so much better! So soft and fluid. But I want to talk a little bit about what I did because itās something I know not everyone agrees with, and thatās okay. I bitted her up and did groundwork in the round pen.
Now, I know bitting up is controversial. Everyone has their opinions, and I respect that. But let me be clear, commenting here to argue wonāt change my mind. I believe in using the right tool for the right situation, and in this case, it was the right choice.
This horse had just reared multiple times in a row and walked backward while doing it. Thatās a very dangerous behavior. Iām not interested in being a crash test dummy from the saddle while trying to sort through whatās going on. My safety matters too, and when Iām working through issues like this, I prefer to stay on the ground. It gives both me and the horse the chance to feel things out safely and clearly.
And hereās the thing, I actually think bitting up, when done correctly, is fair. The pressure is consistent. The boundaries are clear. A riderās hands, no matter how skilled, can be inconsistent. We pull more at times, bounce around, give and take at odd moments. That can be confusing and even unfair to a horse. So in some cases, bitting up can offer clarity and consistency that a rider simply canāt.
That saidāand this is really importantādonāt just strap their head down as tight as you can and run them around like crazy. Thatās not what this is about. Give them slack in the lines. I want to see how they respond to the pressure, not force them into it. We walk and trot just a few minutes, and thatās it. Iām watching their body language, their reactions, and how they process it all. I want to see what kind of conversation theyāre having with that pressure, not just demand compliance. Thatās the whole point! It has nothing to do with muscling and frame. Bitting up works against both of those. Itās simply to see the conversation theyāre having with the bit pressure from a safe perspective for both of us.
I donāt use it often and I definitely donāt use it to āteach collection.ā Thatās a whole different process involving lots of other exercises. And Iām not saying this is the right answer for every horse or every person. If youāre not confident or comfortable with it, donāt do it. Thatās okay. But it is a tool in my toolbox, and I believe in having as many tools available because you never know what situations you are going to face with horses. At the end of the day, training horses isnāt one-size-fits-all. Neither are relationships.
And just because someone does something differently than you would doesnāt mean theyāre being abusive. We all train differently. We all raise our kids differently. We love, connect, and communicate in our own ways. The horse world should be no different. Weāre all figuring out what works for us and for our horses and thatās allowed.
So today, Iām thankful for a brave little boy, a mare who is feeling better, a trusted chiropractor, and a reminder that itās okay to do things differently.
