08/06/2026
No one ever tells you that one of the most important things we need to teach our puppies is how to be calm in a world that is constantly asking for their attention.
We bring dogs into our human world expecting them to naturally know how to regulate their emotions, settle, and relax in environments that can feel overwhelming to them. But emotional regulation is a skill that many dogs need help learning.
Today I had the pleasure of working with sweet 10-month-old Maggie.
❤️ Her family welcomed her home just after 4 months of age. Because of that, she likely missed much of the critical socialization window (roughly 3–16 weeks), when puppies are building confidence and learning about the world around them.
Her family loves Maggie deeply and is doing everything they can to understand her. My job is to help answer the "why." Why is it so hard for her to settle? Why does she always seem to be "on" or unable to relax?
For Maggie, even something as simple and loving as being petted can trigger a surge of excitement or arousal. Rather than helping her relax, it can actually make it harder for her to settle because her nervous system is already working overtime. Understanding this changes how we support her. Instead of assuming she needs more stimulation, we focus on helping her feel safe, regulated, and able to choose calm.
One of the biggest misconceptions in dog training is that if a dog has endless energy, we simply need to exercise them more. While physical exercise is important, many of us unintentionally condition our dogs to always be on the go. We keep their bodies moving, thinking we're helping, but what we're actually teaching them is that life is about constant activity. They learn to keep both their brain and body in motion and never develop the skill of simply relaxing. Over time, some dogs literally don't know what to do with themselves when nothing is happening.
That's why I don't focus on creating a tired dog—I focus on creating a fulfilled dog. A dog whose physical, mental, and emotional needs are met. A dog that knows how to play, explore, think... and just as importantly, knows how to settle and simply be.
Today's session with Maggie reflected exactly that philosophy. We didn't ask for behaviors—we waited for them.
First, we waited for a sit. Then we waited for something even better—a relaxed down. There was no talking, no cueing, and no eye contact. When Maggie made the choice to relax, I quietly placed a treat on the floor between her paws. Delivering the treat calmly and low to the ground helped reinforce not just the behavior, but the emotional state behind it.
Within minutes, Maggie understood the pattern. Calmness made good things happen. She wasn't being told what to do—she was discovering it for herself.
Watching her choose to settle was a beautiful reminder that calmness isn't something we demand from our dogs. It's something we patiently teach, reinforce, and nurture.
Way to go, Maggie! ❤️ I am so proud of you and your wonderful family for taking the time to understand what you need—not just what you do.
