Holloway's Poop Patrol

05/23/2026

Flags are waving, skies are blue,
But your dog left you a present… or maybe two.
Before the cookout, before the play,
Let me scoop those surprises away.

🇺🇸 Weekly service now offered
A cleaner yard all summer — hooray!

Holloway’s P**p Patrol:
Proudly serving those who serve… and their dogs who serve it up.

05/21/2026

Dog drops a doodle, you stroll on past…
Next thing you know, you’re skatin’ the grass.
One slick step, and BOOM — real fast —
You’re starin’ at the sky from your backside blast.

Save your shoes, your pride, your lawn‑day soul —
Call Holloway’s P**p Patrol.
We scoop the yard, keep life on track —
No more whoops‑I‑slipped acrobatics out back.

📞 440‑258‑5648
🐾 Clean yard. Happy pets. Zero wipeouts

05/20/2026

Spring has sprung and your dog’s gone rogue,
Droppin’ p**p bombs everywhere like a furry little rogue.
A p**p here, a p**p there — he’s a backyard Picasso,
Painting brown polka‑dots like a canine El Chapo.

🎵 Don’t drag that “mystery smear” across your floor,
Don’t track that “bonus nugget” through your front door.
Call Holloway’s P**p Patrol —
We scoop the p**p and SO much more! 🎵

We’re the doo‑doo demolition crew,
The turd‑tornado tamers,
The spring‑fresh sanitation superheroes with capes made of trash bags.
Your yard will shine like it’s brand‑new —
Come see what we can do.

05/18/2026

Zippidy‑doo‑da, zippidy‑YARD,
Dogs drop bombs like it’s their full‑time job — HARD.
Your lawn’s a minefield, a dookie display,
You tiptoe around it like “Lord help me today.”

Zippidy‑doo‑da, zippidy‑DEAR,
One wrong step and you’re airborne — P**P ROCKET REAR.
You’re skatin’ on turds, you’re losin’ control,
Time to call in Holloway’s P**p Patrol.

We scoop the p**p, the plops, the piles,
The mystery logs that have been there a while.
We tackle the turds, the stink, the shame,
We’re the cleanup crew with the funniest name.

Your yard’ll be fresh, your shoes will stay clean,
No more “WHAT DID I JUST STEP IN” scenes.
So skip the slip, skip the stink, skip the whole fiasco —
Call Holloway’s crew, we scoop it up FAST, yo.

Zippidy‑doo‑da, zippidy‑DAY,
No more landmines where your kids wanna play.
Sunshine, fresh grass, no p**p in sight —
Holloway’s P**p Patrol gets your yard RIGHT.

05/17/2026

It’s a sunny day, pups zoomin’ like they’re paid,
Droppin’ turds so fresh they should come gift‑wrapped and sprayed.
I’m walkin’ through the grass like a queen, all class…
Then WHOOP — gravity said “NOPE,” and I kissed the grass.

I flew so high NASA tried to track my flight,
Landed on my butt cheeks like a meteorite.
Dogs just waggin’ like, “Dang, that was fast…”
While I’m layin’ there star‑shaped, clutchin’ my ass.

If your yard’s a circus of p**p confetti,
And every step feels like a booby‑trap ready —
Call Holloway’s P**p Patrol, we’re the cleanup crew,
We scoop the doo so YOU don’t go kaboom too.

05/17/2026

05/13/2026

When your yard’s a minefield where the dog left his “toll,”
Don’t tiptoe around it — call Holloway’s P**p Patrol.
We scoop the doo so you can stroll,
Fresh yard, clean shoes — call today and take control.

05/04/2026

Now Serving Lorain County — Holloway’s P**p Patrol is officially here!

I’m proud to introduce Holloway’s P**p Patrol, a locally owned pet waste removal service dedicated to keeping your yard clean, safe, and enjoyable for the whole family.

Whether you need a one‑time seasonal cleanup or reliable weekly service, I’m here to handle the dirty work so you don’t have to. My goal is simple: clean yards, happy pets, and peace of mind for every customer.

🐾 Residential yard cleanups
🐾 Weekly, bi‑weekly, or one‑time service
🐾 Affordable, dependable, and community‑focused

If you’re ready to reclaim your yard, send a message or give me a call. I’d be happy to help.

📞 440‑258‑5648
Holloway’s P**p Patrol — Keeping Lorain County clean, one yard at a time.