03/20/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/18A82T2bUY/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Sometimes you get the dog you need.
Let me preface this by saying I am a 36-year-old woman whose entire personality used to be marathon running.
My trainer told me I was working too hard. "Get a dog," he said. "A running buddy. It'll force you to get outside for fun, not just for training."
I went to the shelter looking for an athletic, medium-sized dog. The volunteer handed me a leash attached to a fluffy, black, 20-pound puppy named Barnaby. "He's a lab mix! Perfect for jogging when he grows up."
I took him home on a trial basis.
Month one: Barnaby grew 15 pounds. He tripped me on our first jog because a leaf blew past him and he panicked.
Month three: Barnaby weighed 60 pounds. We went for a run. We made it one block before he laid down on the sidewalk and refused to move. I had to carry him home in a dead-weight princess hold.
Month five: I bought him a GPS fitness collar. His average daily step count is 400.
Here is what nobody tells you about "Lab mixes" from the shelter—sometimes they are Great Dane/Mastiff mixes. Barnaby is now 110 pounds of pure, unadulterated laziness. He is terrified of thunder, plastic bags, and small birds. When he gets scared, he tries to hide behind my calves. I weigh 130 pounds. It doesn't work.
The shelter called for my final adoption check-in. "How's the running buddy working out? If he's not active enough, we have a Husky who needs a home!"
I looked at Barnaby. He was currently lying upside down on the living room rug, snoring with all four giant paws in the air, using my favorite foam roller as a chin rest.
"No, I'm good," I said.
"Are you sure? You specifically asked for an athletic dog."
"I've accepted my new lifestyle," I told her. "We are couch people now."
My trainer asked how my marathon prep was going. I sent him a picture of a giant dog taking up 80% of my mattress while I slept on the very edge.
📍 Adoption Anniversary: 2 years. I haven't run a 5K since, but my couch has never been more thoroughly guarded from plastic bags.
