The Positive Pony

02/04/2026

These lyrics are haunting me right now.

As a Vermonter, it’s basically a state holiday when Noah Kahan releases new music. I’ve been listening to The Great Divide on repeat for the last few days, trying to burn the lyrics into my brain.

But as I listened to it for the billionth time while I was driving to my mom’s house for dinner the other night, the pre-chorus stirred up a thought that brought me to tears.

Even though this is definitely not what this song was about, my heart and soul brings everything back to horses.

I think about all of the horses who have gotten me where I am today all the time.

I used to have a deep misunderstanding of their needs, how to read and respond to their behavior as communication instead of shutting it down or dismissing it.

I recognized how bad it must have been for them, not because I didn’t care or didn’t love them, but because I (and many of my mentors) didn’t know any better, and they paid for it.

It must have been really hard for them to keep it all inside.

I try not to beat myself up for not knowing then what I know now. Though I do think there is a healthy amount of guilt and regret that can cause us to change for the better, and to see where we could act differently if we were faced with the same situation today.

There is a Great Divide between where I once was when all of these photos were taken and where I am now. And while there is a sadness for the girl who didn’t know better then, I have so much grace for her knowing I’d end up where I am now.

--

Dedicated to the horses I think about all the time: Jäger, Nell, Jab, and Slide (in order of appearance). 🤍

12/04/2025

Don't shoot the messenger 🤷🏻‍♀️

For real, though, these are all conversations I have had with students on more than one occasion because all of these things play a role in your horse's ability to show up as their best selves.

🙊 There are too many horses with unbalanced teeth and/or feet, which creates imbalances in the body. Also, thrush is a big deal and often overlooked, period.

🙊 There are too many horses who run out of hay or don't have enough feeding stations for the number of horses in the herd, causing frustration, stress, and/or resource guarding.

🙊 There are too many horses turned out alone, with too many other horses for the space, or with horses that are not a good fit for each other, leading to stressful herd dynamics.

🙊 There are too many horses who simply aren't moving enough. Horses are a species designed to move. Movement is crucial to their mental and physical well-being. Even horses that are turned out 24/7 may not actually be moving much if they are camped out in one spot all day.

🙊 There are too many horses wearing ill-fitting equipment (i.e. halters, blankets, bridles, saddles, bits, boots, etc.), which leads to mild discomfort at best. Anything that your horse wears needs to fit them appropriately.

🙊 There are too many horses who don't get enough REM sleep, which requires them to lie down. Not getting enough sleep in general disrupts your horse's physical and cognitive health.

🙊 There are too many horses whose diets are out of balance in one way or another, but especially in terms of minerals. Certain ratios (i.e. iron to zinc to copper, calcium to phosphorus, etc.) need to be balanced for your horse to thrive. Mineral imbalances impact everything from hoof health to vital metabolic processes.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for every horse, either. Every horse needs to be treated as an individual.

This isn't about chasing perfection; it's about meeting our horse's basic needs.

We won't get everything right 100% of the time for whatever reason, but we should always strive to do our best.

Because at the end of the day, no amount of training will outweigh the impact of horse-first management and environment. ✌🏼

11/26/2025

20 years...

20 years of hands-on experience made up of weekly riding lessons, equestrian federation certifications, natural horsemanship training, 4-H, and competitions, and not one mention of the difference between reinforcement and punishment.

I'm not blaming those programs or my mentors. Chances are, they truly didn't know better.

But when I stumbled upon positive reinforcement training because my mare, Annie, demanded I add new tools to my toolbox, I fell down a rabbit hole that was so much bigger than I ever could have imagined.

I, like so many of you reading this, had never been exposed to the information that being in the R+ community exposes you to.

Heck, I didn't even know that I had been using negative reinforcement (and quite frankly, positive punishment) for all of those years.

I did know, however, that my main riding instructor was different than others. Her horses lived out 24/7 as a mixed herd and always had access to hay. They were significantly happier and sounder than any other horses I had encountered at the time, but it wasn't until I put two and two together as I learned more *why* that was.

Now, with years of learning, practicing, and teaching others about how to use R+ with horses as my main training focus, I still run into situations (typically with boarded horses) that, when we examine the whole picture to determine how to best help the horse in front of us, would benefit from the use of R-.

And what I have discovered time and time again is that my experience and knowledge gained from diving into R+ has positively shaped my ability to use R-.

I use significantly less pressure, release quicker, and get results even faster without pushing a horse over threshold (because I actually know wtf that is now, how to read subtle signs of stress, and how to de-escalate a horse safely!).

All because of R+.

This isn't to say that I'm not eternally grateful for my 20+ years of experience and how it has gotten me here today, but rather that I wish all of the information that is foundational within the R+ community was more widely accepted and shared so that we all could be better horse people sooner.

Our horses deserve at least that. ✨

11/17/2025

I will never accept someone telling me that horses should not have access to forage during bodywork EVER AGAIN.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard well-known equine bodyworkers preach about how important it is not to feed your horse during bodywork sessions. And for a long time, I believed them.

I could rationalize their reasoning.

They often say that the horse needs to be fully present during bodywork, without the potential interference of food, so the practitioner can get a true read on the horse's responses.

I also understand that, from a behavioral perspective, this type of work is not really about operant conditioning.

Vet care, farrier visits, and bodywork rely more heavily on classical conditioning and the emotional associations the horse forms while the work is happening.

Sure, you can and absolutely should prepare your horse for these types of visits and practice behaviors that will set them up for success, but we all know that does not replace the actual experience itself.

Because of this, I figured positive reinforcement was not the star of the show, specifically when it comes to bodywork, and that it made sense to leave food out of the equation at the direction of "the experts."

But at the same time, that never fully aligned with my own experience.

I've successfully used forage during vet and farrier appointments and seen first-hand how horses can stay engaged while eating.

So why is bodywork so different?

Spoiler alert... it's not!

Check out my latest blog (link in comments!) where I go deep on why access to forage wins every time and why I'm calling BS if someone tells you otherwise. ✌🏼

10/31/2025

When Annie went lame last fall, I had no idea how long the road ahead would be.

What we thought might be something simple turned into months of vet visits, rabbit holes, bodywork, and questions that didn’t have easy answers.

Eventually, (and accidentally) we discovered the sobering truth. Annie had fractured her left iliac wing.

It’s been a year of patience, heartbreak, and quiet hope. Through it all, my black magic mare never lost her spark. And now, her latest ultrasound showed the progress we have hoped for: significant healing. Not yet perfect, not quite finished, but healing nonetheless.

She’s made it clear that she's not done here, and neither am I.

I hope you'll read the full story (so far) on the blog. 🖤✨

https://www.thepositivepony.com/post/i-brought-my-horse-home-and-she-fractured-her-pelvis

03/07/2025

Is your animal just stubborn or are you anthropomorphizing their behavior and making your relationship with them harder?

TLDR: it’s the second one. Your perspective informs your language and vice versa.

My husband and I welcomed Barley, an adolescent Doberman Pinscher, into our home just over two weeks ago. I knew going into this relationship that taking on a working breed dog meant committing to meeting her need to do what she was bred to do – work, both physically and mentally. With that in mind, I’ve been delving deeper into further understanding positive reinforcement (R+) dog training mechanics since I feel strongly about prioritizing R+ training with horses. I have experienced time and time again how animals (and people!) change their behavior and learn new things quickly and happily in response to rewards and connection versus punishment and fear.

A topic that I see pop up amongst trainers, both horse and dog, is that “We shouldn’t argue semantics,” but I have to disagree. Semantics are “𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥, 𝘱𝘩𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵.” We need shared language to communicate effectively. If we don’t agree with someone on what a word means, then we’re bound to miscommunicate with them.

For example, if I, as an American, order chips at a restaurant in the UK expecting potato chips, I might be shocked to get a plate of what I know to be French fries. It's the same word, but two fairly different meanings! If we don’t fully understand what we’re saying, especially in various contexts, how is someone else supposed to understand us?

This is just as true with our animals. We inherently don’t speak the same languages. It’s our responsibility to create a shared language with them to build a successful and positive relationship where both the human and the animal feel understood. Your dog wasn’t born knowing what the word “sit” means just as much as you didn’t as a child before you were taught. And heck, we only use “sit” because that’s the word we know and use with other humans, not because it’s what the dog understood. We could use “taco” or “ker-plop” to cue them for the sitting behavior for all they care!

So while I don’t think we should “argue” semantics if we’re doing so in a “𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺,” I do believe it’s fair and healthy to “𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘳𝘺, … 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸” so that those in conversation can share a common understanding of the language being used. We may not necessarily end up agreeing, but I believe it’s important to at least understand the other communicator’s definition of a word or phrase so you can understand where they are coming from. (Quotes here are direct definitions of “argue” from the Oxford Dictionary.)

This brings me to what got me started on this thought in the first place – anthropomorphizing animal behavior for our ego’s benefit.

I’m guessing that because I’ve been consuming a lot of dog training content lately, I am seeing a lot more posts from local trainers. And while that’s mostly fine, I have recently seen a series of social media posts from one local dog trainer who has described many of the animals they are working with as “stubborn” and my hackles rise instantly every time.

Why? Because we use the word stubborn as a cop-out for saying what we really mean, aka “The animal won’t do what I want them to do.” Labeling an animal as stubborn overlooks why they are exhibiting a behavior contrary to our expectations. I frequently see or hear people label their horses similarly when they exhibit undesirable behavior.

Below is a direct copy and paste (with a slight edit in the last paragraph to give more dog-specific examples) of something I wrote a few months ago about why horses say “no”, but it applies equally to dogs. I desperately wish people would grasp this concept if nothing else when it comes to modifying behavior, regardless of species.

“They really only say "no" for a few reasons.

🛑 They're confused about what is being asked of them (eg introduced to a totally new concept, inconsistent cues from human, different/new context).

🛑 They're physically unable to do what is being asked of them (eg pain, lack of balance/conditioning, fatigue).

🛑 They're emotionally unable to do what is being asked of them (eg fear [fear of punishment, pain, environment, etc.], over threshold, frustration).

🛑 They lack the motivation to do what is being asked of them (eg reinforcer is not valuable enough [appetitive/reward is not "good" enough in R+ or the aversive is not "bad" enough in R-], they lack trust in you).

It's our responsibility to figure out 𝘄𝗵𝘆 they are saying no so that we can work with them as our partners, not against them as their dictators.

Sure, sometimes you will need to ask them to do things they don't want to do, but you can 1) prepare them for less than fun situations ahead of time [eg vet + farrier visits and trailering for horses, vet visits, nail trims, and car rides for dogs] so they know what to expect and 2) be compassionate and understanding of their feelings to make the experience not quite as bad rather than forcing them through it while blatantly ignoring or even mocking their feelings.”

So no, your animal is not stubborn. Animals, and people for that matter, are not their behavior. Your dog is not aggressive, they are a dog exhibiting aggressive behavior in a particular situation. Your horse is not spooky, they are exhibiting a flight response in this specific moment. You are not anxious, you are a human experiencing anxiety at this point in time.

How we view behavior informs how we respond to it. As one of my best friends put it, labeling ourselves or our animals as a behavior leads to hopelessness because it implies it cannot be changed, but that’s simply not true. When we shift our perspective from “they’re giving me a hard time” to “they’re having a hard time,” and learn to meet the specific needs of the being we are in a relationship with, animal or human, we can help modify their behavior moving forward.

Bottom line – language matters and has the potential to help us build better relationships.

11/22/2024

Skill or relationship? More like chicken or egg! 🐣

As more horse people shift their focus to building a relationship with their horse first, traditionalists often jump on their soapboxes to remind everyone that skills must come first.

It’s no wonder this debate exists—most of us humans love a step-by-step formula. We want a clear order of operations to achieve our equestrian dreams, tangible or intangible. And so, the debate begins: relationship first or skills first?

Here’s the thing—trying to separate the two is like trying to unscramble the chicken-or-egg conundrum.

Building a relationship, whether with horses, people, your work, or the world, takes skill. But we also refine those skills through the relationship.

The skills you develop shape the relationship you create, and the relationship you want shapes the skills you pursue. It’s a loop, not a line.

For me, I aim to build relationships with my horses that are mutually rewarding, grounded in shared trust and safety. To do that, I choose to develop skills that align with that vision—and in turn, those skills shape the very relationship I’m striving to create.

On the flip side, many well-meaning horse people develop skills that lead to obedience. This often creates a dynamic where the human says, “Do this!” and the horse replies, “You got it!” That dynamic reflects the type of relationship the person prioritized in the first place.

See how it’s all connected?

The same goes for separating learning theory from emotional systems. No matter how neatly you try to divide them, they’re always intertwined.

Every interaction with your horse is a moment where your skills and relationship evolve together. They’re not separate silos or a one-then-the-other kind of thing.

It’s all connected, whether you like it or not. ✨

10/21/2024

"Are we training partners or prisoners?"

Horses are incredibly generous with us, especially considering nearly everything we (as predators) ask of them goes against their every instinct (as prey animals), the least we owe them is the ability to communicate their "no" and the decency to be empathetic + curious about it.

They really only say "no" for a few reasons, too.

🛑 They're confused about what is being asked of them (eg introduced to a totally new concept, inconsistent cues from human, different/new context).

🛑 They're physically unable to do what is being asked of them (eg pain, lack of balance/conditioning, fatigue).

🛑 They're emotionally unable to do what is being asked of them (eg fear [fear of punishment, pain, environment, etc.], over threshold, frustration).

🛑 They lack the motivation to do what is being asked of them (eg reinforcer is not valuable enough [appetitive/reward is not "good" enough in R+ or the aversive is not "bad" enough in R-], they lack trust in you).

It's our responsibility to figure out *why* they are saying no so that we can work with them as our partners, not against them as their dictators.

Sure, sometimes you will need to ask them to do things they don't want to do, but you can 1) prepare them for less than fun situations ahead of time [eg vet and farrier visits, trailering] so they know what to expect and 2) be compassionate and understanding of their feelings to make the experience not quite as bad rather than forcing them through it while blatantly ignoring or even mocking their feelings.

A sense of urgency for correction is often taught in the equestrian world. If a horse says no - if they stop, pin their ears, kick out, show resistance, etc - we need to correct them immediately! We can’t let them get away with that or if they do it once, they will have a deeply engrained “habit” and we will have an uncooperative and dangerous horse. Right? I disagree.

When training, you can’t punish or reward a behavior long after it has occurred or the animal will have no idea what the punishment or reward is related to.

Hence the sense of urgency to stop a behavior in its tracks.

But here’s what I have learned - stopping unwanted behavior or behavior that some might perceive as “bad” is not as urgent as many think it is.

When we immediately punish unwanted behavior, we are essentially telling the horse to be silent and that we do not care what they think or feel about what is happening.

Punishment is often promoted as necessary for safety. But a safe horse is not a shut down horse.

It’s OK to not react to unwanted behavior.

Not punishing bad behavior is not equivalent to rewarding it. Stopping something that is causing them discomfort or distress is relief, not a reward.

Get yourself in a safe position and take a minute.

The horse needs help to feel better or do better.

Punishment is like putting a bandaid on an infection. It might look better for a bit but the underlying problem is still there. Let the horse say no. Understand why they are saying no. Then adjust your approach to achieve the desired behavior.

You might be surprised how much more they will give you a yes.

10/01/2024

It may not always feel like it, but I promise it is. ✨

Yesterday, I was honored to guest lecture for a second time at the University of Vermont for their Equine Training Techniques course.

Not only did the professor have a clear shift in her understanding of equine behavior in the last two years, but she didn't have another trainer back after previous students expressed that he made them uncomfortable with how he handled the horses.

After my presentation, she also committed to purchasing clickers and forage pellets for her students who were interested in continuing their R+ journey.

The students I taught confidently knew that horses say "no" not to create problems for us, but rather because they might be in pain, confused, or afraid.

We worked with three wildly different horses and easily taught them how to safely accept food rewards before demonstrating how we could use R+ to address each of their sticking points from leading, catching, and haltering, to tacking up, separation anxiety, and hoof handling.

But one moment really stands out to me that wasn't necessarily about R+.

Due to metabolic concerns, our first demo horse wears a grazing muzzle. When a student brought out his halter with the muzzle to turn him back out, he quickly but quietly let me know he was concerned. His body language and energy dulled, and he stopped accepting food.

It was subtle, but I knew it was a really important teaching moment.

I held his halter loosely by my side, taking slow, deep breaths with a soft posture and a soft gaze directed toward the ground to let him know that I wasn't going to force him through this.

When he let out a big deep breath, I offered him the halter and waited for him to lower his head into it. It took a moment, but he rewarded me for my patience and attunement to his concern.

We then discussed how often we rush around, missing our horse's subtle communication, therefore missing these opportunities for connection.

It wasn't "woo," but it was magical and we all felt it.

We shared a moment of what working with horses can look like, no matter the reinforcer, so long as you are willing to slow down and listen to them before they have to yell.

💖

09/27/2024

Here's a wild idea!

Equestrian professionals shouldn't put prospective students down for learning from various sources, especially while simultaneously telling them not to idolize a single person.

Let your horse and your intuition guide you ✌🏻