06/17/2025
Intresting read horse shows also have there issues.
THE REAL REASON OUR SPORT IS DYING
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I’m going to ask you to read this post with an open heart and an open mind. I frequently hear people complaining about the dwindling entries and how no one stays in the sport long enough. It’s true, numbers are declining and people are leaving, but the reason may surprise you.
I’m going to share a story that I have permission to share. I recently spent some time speaking to a friend who hasn’t attended a dog show in over a year. On our call, they cried as they shared the incident with me. I knew of the incident from when it occurred but was unaware of how this was affecting my friend all this time later. The last time they went to a dog show their very social and friendly working dog puppy was getting ready to go back into the ring for Winners Bitch. Someone in the breed came up to them and when their puppy wiggled up to greet the person, they snatched the leash out of their hand, physically corrected the puppy and then hit her. The puppy flattened onto the floor and peed all over herself. The owner indicated that they were done here and took her puppy back and walked away. Because the puppy was now clearly anxious and covered in urine, they did not go back in for Winners Bitch, which caused another person to come over and berate them for being disrespectful and unsportsmanlike for doing so. The sadness and guilt they feel from that day was palpable. I could so feel their pain which made me not only sad but incredibly angry that someone so valuable has been snatched from our community. They shared that they haven’t even wanted to go back to a dog show. That the experience was so awful and the opposite of anything they want to be a part of they aren’t sure they even want to finish their very deserving girl’s championship.
Now, before you say that you or your friends would never do this or how awful it is, please stop. Not saying anything or standing up for someone is just as bad as doing the actual dirty work. My friend is a skilled professional dog trainer. They have done a lot to help their breed and teach and encourage sports and activities designed for their breed. They are not only an asset to the breed community, but a hard working, supportive and kind person. And, they haven’t attended a dog show in over a year because of this incident. I can’t tell you how many dogs I have had to help due to one incident of a person offering “help” and then pretending to drop the dog off the back of a table or taking the leash and physically yanking on their dog and it’s always done without permission and without an explanation of what will be done to their dog. You may think this type of treatment is perfectly acceptable, but it doesn’t mean anyone has right to do such things to someone else’s dog.
If your knee jerk reaction is to say that if they want to be in this sport they need to “get a thicker skin” or “just ignore the idiots”, I encourage you to consider that you have no idea what a person’s life experience is or if a person suffers from trauma. Not everyone can or should have to just accept abusive treatment of them or their dog. The fact is, you shouldn’t need a “thick skin” to enjoy a hobby with your dog. How about instead of putting down the people who are mistreated we hold cruel and abusive people accountable? What if when we see this happen we step in and offer some support to the person who needs it?
I coach people all over the world about conformation. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I spend a lot of time helping people work through incidents like this. Clients literally spend whole coaching sessions having me help them work through hurtful incidents that have happened to them or devising a plan to deal with confrontational people who they may have to deal with. This is a real issue. People leave this sport way more because of the people in the sport over any other reason. Of course this is not to say that there are no genuinely helpful, supportive and kind people in the sport, but there are many that are not and they are hurting this sport and running out people we desperately need.
When I am coaching people to deal with these types of issues, I usually recommend a few of the following things.
Make friends outside of your breed and hang out with those people at dog shows. Sometimes that amount of distance is enough to help.
Go to shows with a friend who isn’t afraid to advocate for you and your dog if you need that.
Visit other types of dog events to ease yourself back into the scene.
Go to dog shows without entering so you can feel free enough to create space when you need it.
Design a script of how you will deal with people who attempt to confront you. Know what you are going to say if you feel like you need to get out of a situation:
“My dog has to go to the bathroom”
“I have to meet someone”
“I don’t feel well and I have to go”
“My dog isn’t feeling well”
Any of these responses can get you out of the situation, but even just walking away is okay too. If this isn’t someone you want to engage with, you are allowed to set boundaries and not engage or interact with that person, especially if they don’t make you feel safe.
This reminds me of when the focus of my business in-home behavior consulting and I sometimes had to help people be able to walk their dogs again after an attack by an off-leash dog. It’s about moving at the person’s comfort level and building back up slowly and safely. While my friend’s process will be much more intensive due to the severity of the incident and their own past trauma, I think we will get there, but it doesn’t lessen the how sad and frustrating it is to see such a great person have to deal with such an ugly and unnecessary memory.
