01/27/2025
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I wanted to post this because I had a student the other day in a lesson saying how she was trying then she very quickly corrected herself and she said “No I will do better. There is only doing there is no trying.”
I told her I felt differently. I think we should be excited about any sort of try. What kind of a horse person would I be if I didn’t reward my horse for the slightest try in the right direction of what I’m trying to convey? So I Will do the same for my students. There is no shame in trying again. Repetition is how we learn. So of course we have to try and try again. We can try in different ways to see if that works better but we must try.
It surprises me, to be honest, at the scoffs and dismissive comments whenever one uses the word TRY.
Seemingly, some of us believe that TRYING is a cop out for all mankind, yet we claim to ‘reward the slightest try’ with our horses. Problem is, how do those two polar opposites exist within the same heart and mindset?
If we’re aiming to be fair and empathetic with horses, should we not strive to be fair and empathetic with ourselves and other people, too?
With the new year, I’ve been talking about words that might stand as personal mantras or encouragements. This one word—TRY—jumped out at quite a few people as an excuse, rather than an inspiration. How can it be a mantra for good living when it allows the option to quit, or even, to fail? Well, now. Let’s talk about that.
If you dwell in the camp of believing that THERE IS NO TRY IN LIFE, that ‘you’re either doing or you’re not doing’, I might have news for you. There is a beautiful grey expanse of shading and permutations, a whole untouched country, that exists between ON and OFF. Life is not a light switch.
If I didn’t believe in TRY, then I wouldn’t be an ethical horse trainer. I would certainly have less feel, or empathy. I would not know when to ask for more, or for less, or to stop asking, entirely.
If I didn’t believe in TRY, then I wouldn’t be able to overcome an unpleasant perfectionist streak within myself that has too often paralyzed me, stopped me entirely, for fear of failure. This thing inside me that says it would be better—and certainly safer—to not attempt anything silly, or questionable, or risky, rather than be wrong, or found lacking. To not be enough.
I know that I’m not alone in this uncertainty that has me automatically reaching for all the reasons to say no, rather than look for just one yes. And so, I’ll keep my fondness for TRYING, thank you.
I’ll shout it from the rooftops. I’ll recognize it in others. I’ll celebrate both our successes and our heartbreaking attempts. While I usually TRY to understand other opinions, to balance others’ thoughts that often bump up against my own, I’m not quite able to, this time.
I sure as shootin’ won’t judge or dismiss those bravehearts who get up, dust themselves off and dare to TRY again.
Photo: Mike McLean.
