11/27/2023
Some days when a person asks me how I am I want to say
‘Well actually I’m still struggling with my pet leaving this earth and I want to hide under the emotional crutch of a blanket ‘
But I say, ‘I’m good thank you, you?’
Because sometimes I’m selfish with my grief, because I feel they won’t understand, because nobody will truly love my dog the way that I did. And they’ll tell me to fill the void, or get over it & I’ll get frustrated so I stay quiet
Every so often I still count the days since she left, does that make me live in the past? so be it. I didn’t pass away with her but I am allowed to go back for a moment if it keeps her alive
I can’t help but feel it’s her every time a bird of prey appears from nowhere. Does that make me crazy? Then I’m crazy but comfortable in the thought that she’s happy in her afterlife
I still talk about her and get upset. That makes you uncomfortable, then maybe just sit in silence with me and let me cry regardless of the reasoning.
Ive kept all of her belongings & even paid for extra phone storage so I don’t have to delete any photos of her. That makes me pathetic, then you’re probably not my person
Because I still miss her I don’t expect others to understand & I know you don’t mean the things you say, but they were a major part of my life for so long
Imagine someone being excited every time you greet them, Someone who makes your bad days better without saying a word
Someone who listens to your woes with no judgement, Someone who supports you in everything without question, Someone who is prepared to go on your adventure at any time A best friend for years... Then it’s gone
Some days I still find it hard & I need to grieve at my own pace with no judgement or competition
Dont take it personally if I seem different today
I’m okay, I’m just sad 🤍