10/31/2026
For the past and future puppy parents🤣🤣🤣
Just found the instructions that came with your puppy You Should have read them sooner 🤣
Dear Customer,
Congratulations on acquiring your Malamute. Please find the instructions for your particular model listed below:
Although your Malamute comes fully assembled, due to particular issues during production, we do occasionally have issues with components such as screws. They invariably are either loose or missing altogether.
Mode 1: This is the sleep mode, activated for the majority of the day as the Malamute ages. This is normal and you should not worry about it, just accept the peace and quiet while you can.
Mode 2: Anarchy. Although we have tried to ease the effect of anarchy mode, it’s not always possible. There are inherent issues with the timer settings of anarchy mode in regards to there being none. Should your Malamute suddenly go from comatose to running around the walls, we cannot stop this feature.
Snow: Do not allow your Malamute to stay in the snow too long. They cannot freeze if left unattended but they will recharge. Too much of a charge and mode 2 can be activated without warning.
Naming: your Malamute may come untitled as we feel owners should use names of their own. If you are unsure, we have listed below a few names our owners like to use:
Drop it
No
What are you doing now
Dammit
You’re kidding me
Is that yours?
Don’t you dare
Oi, you
A**hole
Put that down
Why?
Ffs
Get that out your mouth
That is my SHOE
Software: Your Malamute is pre-installed with the highest software and hardware. This includes the loyalty chip, the love every one chip, fun chip and, of course, the highly popular mayhem chip. They are all running on the What-the-hell operating system 12.2. Although this has been in circulation for many years, we have found it simply cannot be improved upon.
Should you have any queries you can reach us on 118-what-did-I-do
Thank you.
We hope you have many years of enjoyment with your Malamute. Please be aware that by the time you have read this, your warranty will have run out.
Unfortunately, we do not renew warranties and we do not offer refunds or returns...ever. It’s your problem now.🤣🤣🤣🤣🐶
