07/24/2026
After years of careful observation, I have finally documented the official power structure of my household.
Please review the organizational chart below:
👑 TIER 1 — THE CAT
Final authority on all household decisions. Budget allocation, schedule management, territorial boundaries, temperature control. Unelected. Term: indefinite. Compensation: everything.
🪑 TIER 2 — THE CAT'S PREFERRED CHAIR
Protected asset. Do not sit in it. Do not move it. Do not look at it the wrong way. You will know if you have.
🍗 TIER 3 — THE CAT'S FOOD
Primary household priority. Must be served at precise times by precise methods in the precise bowl. The other bowl is wrong. We don't discuss the other bowl.
👤 TIER 4 THE HUMANS
Responsible for procurement, facility maintenance, lap provision, and warmth services. No independent decision-making authority. All major decisions (furniture placement, sleep schedule, thermostat settings) are subject to feline review and veto.
📦 TIER 5 THE CARDBOARD BOX FROM NOVEMBER
She sat in it once for forty minutes. It now has historic significance. It cannot be discarded. It will outlive us all.
🐾 TIER 6 THE $200 ORTHOPEDIC CAT BED
Currently serving as a surface for the cardboard box. Offensive somehow. Do not ask why.
On a scale of 1–10 how accurately does this describe your home?
Be honest. We're all the same here. 😂🐾