09/23/2021
An email I sent to my BPS list (https://www.bergfordperformance.com/email-list) last night that you, my fellow dog p*eps, may enjoy...
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"Do you train cats?"
Thus came, out of the ether, perhaps the dumbest question ever asked in human history.
Allow me to tell you why…
One of my businesses is called Altitude Dog Training.
Now, I wrote about this incident a year or two ago but it was on my mind and cracking me up today so I thought I’d give a different take on an old favorite.
So here goes:
This person calls and leaves a voicemail message asking if I train cats. And I could tell it was a sincere message and question based on the rest of the voicemail and my subsequent conversation with them. So this person was for real.
Keep in mind, I not only named the business Altitude Dog Training, but have a detailed website also.
On it are many pictures of dogs.
Many videos of dogs being trained.
Many words reflecting the nature of my dog training services.
And you, being the intelligent, deductive logic, rational person that you are probably won’t be surprised (like this person was) by my answer to their "Do you train cats?" question.
"No. I do not."
So I was, regrettably, not able to help this particular individual with their cat’s problem behaviors.
But I have learned something quite interesting about the people who’ve called me over the years about dog training.
They’d always tell me about their dog’s problem(s) and what they "needed" help with.
They’d outline the issues that were causing them and their family members dismay, and then conclude with something like "My dog needs help with her aggression" or "My dog needs to do a group class to help with his training and socialization."
And 95% of the time, what they’d identified as their need or problem turned out to be neither their real need nor problem.
It was just the thing they could point to that was irking them at the moment.
Another example of this:
My magician of a bodyworker asks me when I go to see him how my body is doing, and I tell him something like "Great, but my right shoulder has been bothering me."
I’ve learned not to say "You need to do some work on my right shoulder" because what bubbles up to the surface of my mind as the "problem" usually isn’t at all what I really need help with.
Instead, he’ll examine different aspects of my body’s kinetic chain to see where the real problem is.
And he fixes that.
And magically, my right shoulder gets better, even though he spent loads of time working on my foot arches, calves, lower back and neck, and very little time – if any – working on my "right shoulder problem".
And thank God for him, because I’d run through dozens of massage therapists and bodyworkers over the years prior to my meeting him, and they’d always spot-treat the supposed need I told them I had, which resulted in only temporary relief.
Thus, in the long run (since my real and invisible-to-me need wasn’t being addressed), I never got better when I worked with them.
And it’s the same with the work I do coaching high-performing people and helping them with their psychological or business or athletic strategy: what they think is causing all their pain ain’t hardly ever what’s actually causing them pain.
Which is why they haven’t made significant progress despite endlessly Googling their supposed problem for solutions.
Nor through attending workshops on "work-life balance" or "leading teams effectively" or whatever.
Bottom line is, what people think they need help with is NOT usually what they need help with.
Thus, finding and connecting with someone who’s a true expert is paramount to effective problem solving for all of us... and why their work to help you identify what’s actually going on beneath the surface "problems" is the shortest path to addressing the real issue(s), and to fixing things long-term.
The same thing applies whether we’re talking about dog/pet malfeasance, rehabbing physical injuries, or creating the proper psychological infrastructure required to build and sustain a business empire.
For top-tier coaching for high-performers, availeth thyself of the link below:
https://www.bergfordperformance.com/coaching
– Brian Bergford
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