08/17/2025
10 Reasons You Should Absolutely Not Get a Golden Retriever
(written with love from Stormy Hill Golden Retrievers 💛🐾)
1. They come with built-in alarm clocks. Forget sleeping in—your Golden will happily remind you that 6 a.m. is prime time for breakfast, fetch, and full-body snuggles.
2. They think “personal space” is a myth. Yes, they’ll follow you into the bathroom. Yes, they’ll judge your life choices from two inches away.
3. They are professional shoe collectors. Not chewers (well… sometimes), but collectors. That one sneaker you can’t find? It’s already relocated to their secret stash.
4. They believe they’re professional decorators. That carefully fluffed pillow? Perfect for a full-body flop. That nice flower bed? A great nap spot.
5. Their definition of fetch is “forever.” Your arm will give out long before they do.
6. They’re emotional support experts—even when you don’t need it. Crying? They’ll cuddle. Laughing? They’ll cuddle. Tying your shoe? Guess what… cuddle.
7. Water = joy. Puddles, lakes, your kid’s kiddie pool… all fair game. Don’t even get us started on mud puddles.
8. They think everyone is their best friend. Burglar? Best friend. Mailman? Best friend. Stranger in the grocery parking lot? BEST. FRIEND.
9. They’ll make you soft. No matter how tough you think you are, those big brown eyes will break you. Resistance is futile.
10. Once you have one, you’ll never stop. It’s not “just one Golden.” It’s a lifestyle. A golden, furry, happy, chaos-filled lifestyle.
So yes, Golden Retrievers are a terrible idea… if you don’t want unconditional love, laughter every day, and a best friend who thinks the sun rises and sets with you. 🌞🐕💛
– From your partners in furry chaos,
Stormy Hill Golden Retrievers
