02/12/2026
Training the Dog and the Handler: Our Journey Through Reactivity
My 5 year old female Siberian Husky, Angel, experiences dog reactivity that is mostly based in fear but also frustration and curiosity. For 4 years, I could never admit that she was reactive. I would say "she is friendly, she just takes time to warm up to other dogs" which is true, but it wasn't the whole truth. Her mom is genetically aggressive toward dogs and her dad is the friendliest dog you'd meet. I always had this question in the back of my mind, "What if she actually is just reactive?" so I did research, I looked into her family history, and I asked around. January 2025 I finally admitted to myself and came to the conclusion that she is reactive.
For years, I was told by people I confided in about her problems that if I didn't put my dog in daycare or take her to dog parks I would only make her reactivity worse. I was warned she'd become aggressive if I didn't. Given I had some dog knowledge under my belt I knew this would not help her case and decided to look into some trainers to better help her. From trainers that I looked into booking with to help my dog, I was told that she'd be a loss cause because she fed off of my anxiety and because she had dog aggression and reactivity rooted in her. When I mentioned I'd be doing it on my own, I was told that I "couldn't do it" or that I'd "make it worse". Honestly, this made me discouraged but a few of my friends in the dog community encouraged me to keep trying and not lose hope. Afterall, she is a good dog capable of success. She just had to learn how to regulate her emotions, learn that other dogs aren’t going to attack her, and learn skills to better help her in her world.
Until I started my own research and took advice from other reactive dog owners, no one really explained to me that reactivity isn't about "more exposure". For many dogs, especially ones that are fear-based reactive, it's about safety, distance, regulation, and trust. At that time, I decided I'd take the research I've learned and the knowledge I've gained to start her journey through reactivity. I wanted to share what actually helped Angel go from dog reactive to dog neutral because I understand how many owners are crying on or after a difficult walk; doubting themselves; being told they're doing it wrong; and feeling as though they will never have a "normal" dog.
This didn't happen overnight, in a week, or even in a few months. This was hard, consistent work over the last year. This is what worked for us (not in order):
+ Distance is everything. Start as far away as possible because staying under threshold* helps to build foundational skills and allows her to be able to learn, process information, and observe without reacting. For us, this was being in the baseball field of our local community park which is roughly a hundred feet from the walking trail at the park. This was us for a lot of the months during our journey.
+ The Engage & Disengage Game. She was allowed to look at another dog for a few seconds and then we had to move on. This really helped us prevent a reaction as well as prevent her going over threshold*. I would say her name followed with “this way”, excitement in my tone along with walking backwards – or even at times lightly jogging in the opposite direction – to help redirect her to me before a reaction. Understanding the early warning signs that appear before a reaction really helps this because a reactive dog can go from zero to a hundred in a split second!
+ Low stimulation walks. Going on walks at times where there is a chance to see few (but not zero or many) and allowing her to play, sniff, decompress, and get used to the environment before her triggers showed up helped her in the long run because it allowed her to be a dog before she became overwhelmed. A reactive dog with pent up energy is a dog that will have a harder time regulating their emotions AND communicating clearly.
+ Reward settling and a calm mindset. A dog that can’t settle is a dog that can’t think clearly, communicate properly, learn information effectively, and practice skills smoothly. A calm mindset is just as important as active training. Help clear and calm your dog's mind before the reaction!
+ High value rewards from a distance. Reward your dog with food or toys before the trigger becomes overwhelming, scary, or too overly stimulating!
+ Carefully chosen dog interactions later on. When she had the foundational skills d0wn, we introduced trusted, known, stable dogs to her in a slow way where she was on neutral ground on an off leash, fenced in area or on a long line to have the option to move away. We never allowed on leash greetings with 6-8ft leashes!
+ On walks, keep it calm and keep moving. If we saw another dog, I calmly called her back, shortened the leash without tension, kept her on the opposite side of the dog, gave space, and kept walking. No stopping, no forced sits. Forced sitting and stopping allows your dog’s system to build and they react. It makes reactivity worse! Instead, keep walking even if your dog reacts as you do.
+ After a reaction, regulation matters. There are many ways to help a dog regulate after a reaction and get their nervous system back to where it needs to be but my favorite and the one that worked best for us was to give her a gentle massage between her shoulder blades. Over time, this taught her how to self regulate her emotions and taught her that I’d be there to help. Reassuring your dog after or through a reaction doesn’t reward them!
+ First and foremost, regulate yourself. This was huge for us! I had to learn to control my own anxieties because she is known for feeding off of them and gearing up for the threat that may come (or is around us). When I stayed calm, predictable, and confident in both of us she learned she was safe. There is only a few exceptions to turning around when seeing another dog (or the trigger): the dog is behind a short fence and is big enough to jump over; comes over with tense body language that would escalate things; the owner is struggling to handle the dog and looks like they may lose the leash; there is an off leash dog snarling from afar that you’d risk them coming up to your dog if you continued on the path; or someone has their dog on a flexi leash, off leash, or a long leash and fails to direct them to keep them close while passing. Other than that, we kept walking in the direction we were going because we were allowed to take up space, go that way, be in the world.
+ Foundational skills > forced exposure. Confidence, trust, communication, and a calm mindset came before anything else especially in the beginning!
Tools can help when used correctly. For us, a prong collar matched with leash manners helped provide clear, fair communication and allowed her to stay more regulated on walks.
+ Always end on a positive note. Even after a difficult walk, even after a reaction, even after an encounter with the trigger and your dog reacted, end on a positive note. Once they return to under threshold, do a short training session or play together – just leave a positive ending to the session or walk.
This took time, patience, calmness, tears, and belief in my dog and myself. There were setbacks (more than a few). There were tears (a lot of them). But today, my dog is dog neutral. No, that doesn’t mean her reactivity went away; she just learned to manage it and now doesn’t feel the need to react to her triggers. She can co-exist, walk past other dogs, and disengage without fear and frustration. One of our most proudest moments was a few weekends ago when we were at a local community park on the walking path we successfully walked by a doodle (she seems to have a thing against them and a few months ago would only react to them) that was reacting to her and she looked at it and made the choice to keep moving. No reaction, no stopping, no tension. Just a glance and kept walking. This was when I was most proud of her and I because it meant that the hard work we did paid off!
That being said, reactive dogs are not bad dogs. They are dogs trying to survive in their world and we are there to help them. Your dog is not a loss cause and you are not failing them – you are showing them how to coexist with their triggers. You are protecting them and giving them room to grow. You are not making it worse by choosing slow, intentional work. Your reactive dog doesn’t need daycare nor dog parks, they need you to step up and help them coexist. Progress isn’t linear, it won’t be done in a month, it doesn’t come without setbacks and overthinking, but it is very possible. Your fear reactive dog won’t be the friendliest dog, but they will be a dog that can learn to be around others. Your excitement reactive dog can learn to approach their triggers without freaking out. Your reactive dog is capable, they just need the help to learn. Success is possible, even when it doesn’t feel like such a month in.
This is why our crew decided to offer reactivity training, so we could help others and their dogs through the struggles of reactivity. We would absolutely love to help you! Please visit our website to see all of our services, especially our reactivity which is $350 for a 6 week one on one program! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1u1ZrUedvL8YBl947a2l78koB4WzEDYVZaxu09DsYioU/edit?usp=sharing
*Under threshold: When a dog is in a calm, focused, and relaxed state where they will listen and respond to commands; take in information; communicate clearly; and not be overstimulated and overwhelmed from their triggers. Think of it as the place where your dog feels safest from their triggers (for fear based reactive dogs) or where they aren’t going ballistic to greet their trigger (for excitement reactive dogs).
*Over threshold: When a dog is overwhelmed, stressed, or overly excited by a trigger causing their brains to “shut down”. They don’t listen or respond to commands; they don’t take in information; they react and this reaction reinforces the reactivity; they don’t communicate clearly or properly which can lead to a dog fight, them accidentally nipping, or them not picking up on boundaries.
