04/10/2026
In September of 2025, my fiancee, Sherry Baker, gave me a Havapoo puppy that she had gotten from a Rescue in Pennsylvania and had named her Re*****on. I didn't want another dog as mine had just passed but I conceded.
However, it wasn't long before Re*****on captured my heart and a very strong bond of love and loyalty formed. Loved this little girl more than most animals I've ever had in my lifetime put together. There was just something about her that entered my soul. She voluntarily never, ever, left my side all day and had her place in my bed at night. She guarded me. She always kept watch over me. Her antics kept me laughing all day and night. Zoomies, fetching toys, eating pine cones, beating up cats twice her size, chasing cats and them chasing her, herding piggies, chasing birds and
squirrels, you just name it, she was into it.
Wednesday March 25th she started throwing up any liquid she drank. Omg she just turned 360 degrees becoming ill. Stopped eating, threw up more and more drinking or not, blood became noticeable from her re**um. Thursday the 26th I started looking for a Vet and all I heard is "we are NOT taking any new patients". Finally was directed to The Guardian Group in Pittsville Maryland, a true veterinary hospital for animals with a Vet on staff.These folks have a modern hospital with every conceivable piece of equipment to run every conceivable test on your pet. Stat, right on site and machines to keep that same pet alive. No need to send test medium out for analysis, was all done here, right on site. Besides all that, these folks seemed to really care. Offered to let me sit with Re*****on the whole time in triage thru everything except the Xrays, which I did.They answered all my questions and provided me all the info they could with immediate test results.
Bill from the start for tests was $2000.00 and after 4 hours I was presented with test results. The whole time I was sure the problem was an intestinal blockage and with some surgery would recover. I met with the Dr and she told me the worst news possible. Re*****on's kidneys had failed, had Pancreatitus and that she could admit her for 3 days and try to treat the kidney problem but that she would likely die during the first treatment. She went on to say she was in a lot of pain, surgery may still be needed to find what the internal bleeding was from and that she was nearly blind in her left eye. Never realized that before so it must have happened due to her failing body
She recommended I just let Re*****on go to sleep. She left me holding her in a private room for an hour thinking what I wanted to do. I wanted to just take her home but that wasn't the best choice for Re*****on. Needless to say I was crying so hard, uncontrollably, I couldn't help myself. I was a basket case and all I could see is Re*****on looking at me saying "daddy please don't let them kill me" 😪.
Well I made the decision and a half hour later carried Re*****on's lifeless body in the house one last time. I had a long conversation with her and took her outside and buried her next to the Pecan Tree she liked to sit under.
Her passing has left me with an indescribable loneliness and broken heart. Not from being alone but being alone without her. I just killed the best animal friend i think I've ever had. She never asked for nothing but love. A forever home with all the love she can get.
Im 2nd guessing myself daily. Did I really do the right thing by allowing the end of her life. Should I have spent $5000 more dollars i didnt have to try treatment? The Dr. Said it was the right decision to end her suffering but was it? I'll never know for sure. Everyday I ask her forgiveness with teary eyes. No matter what I'll always feel that I killed my girl and that's totally unacceptable to me. Still I cry
