09/15/2024
When does lack of care become neglect?
When does that neglect become abuse?
Who decides?
This is not the first time these questions have tormented my conscious but my recent experience with finding a blind old dog wandering in the street has brought them to the raw surface of the place in my heart where compassion resides.
I have never liked being called a pet’s owner. Implying they are my possession does not accurately describe how I feel about the relationship. I recently learned Hawaiians use Kahu, and it perfectly sums up any caregiver relationship. Kahu is seen as a guardian, a protector or honored attendant which is what we should all consider ourselves when in a position of decision-making power over the health and wellbeing of another soul.
As a Kahu we should never believe that our ward is too old to be kept clean or too old to be medically treated for the minimum of comfort measures. I have always considered it an honor when I have been entrusted with the care of another. Whether it is a beloved human or animal, the tasks remain consistent; Keep them as safe as possible, make them as comfortable as possible, and do everything in your power to maintain their dignity.
The owner of the dog that I was sure had been abandoned showed up knocking on our door late on the third night. They had been looking for her and were happy to find her. The dog wagged her tail at being embraced by her Kahu. I was predictably emotional as I explained to the collector the heartbreak we had been through trying to get her dog the help she needed. Her reasons for the neglected condition of the dog were based on the dog being 17 years old with multiple health issues. With the help of friends, I had the dog groomed that day, getting her nails that were poking into the pads of her feet cut and all the debris cleaned out. I had raised money to take her to the vet the next day for an assessment, but it was not meant to be. I was not this dog’s Kahu, so it was not my decision to make.
Some who had seen the dog asked if I should seek abuse charges. Absolutely not was the call from my heart. I have had many hard lessons about how people love differently than me. Do I feel that this dog was neglected? Absolutely! Do I feel that this dog loves her Kahu and was happy to go home? Absolutely! I spent the evening knowing the dog was feeling better after her groom and likely happy to find herself back at her familiar home. Even though I wanted to protect her and keep her safe I recognized the right of her Kahu to take her back. As angry as I was, I did see love in their reunion. I remain hopeful that she will be more appreciated after having been missed and worried about. Perhaps my expressed concern regarding the condition we found her in will prevent any further neglect.
Sometimes we all need a reminder about how important, precious, and unique the love of an old soul really is. I challenge everyone to be the best possible Kahu to not only those under your care, but to each soul we encounter along our path.
