02/04/2025
REJECTION BREEDS RESILIENCE
When you hear ‘rejection’ what do you feel?
I don’t think anyone has a neutral feeling to the word. Some will feel visceral pain, while others may feel empowered.
Rejection doesn’t HAVE to be a big deal.
Snickers came to me last month for a board and train and we quickly found he was not a great board and train candidate. He chewed through one leash in a matter of seconds, he broke another, and he drug another through his p*e, explosive diarrhea, and a**l gland expressions and I decided to throw it out.
He bit me (luckily I had bite gloves on) and bit his tongue to the point of bleeding.
All in the matter of a few hours.
We had gone on a walk and then I asked him to get in the kennel (unsuccessfully). That should not have warranted his reaction and yet, it did.
(And yes, he does need to be in a kennel. He is highly destructive and has bitten before).
Snickers, to date, had never been introduced to effective stress. He has, however, experienced inconsistent and unpredictable stress.
Today I went over for a lesson with Snickers. Him and I went for a walk. He was showing very uneasy signs, potential bite territory, and pulling back not wanting to go. Within 15 minutes, he stopped cowering from my touch. Within 30, he was laying in the grass with me, asking for pets.
There was no way Snickers was going to take treats or play with me and certainly didn’t GAF about pleasing me.
So I used a different means of reinforcing him.
I put pressure/stress on him in small doses and taught him how to remove it.
At first, he was frozen. This was never anything he had experienced before. Working together to achieve something. Even more, I taught him that I’m not always going to accept his behavior and that’s okay.
I can disagree with him, I can reject his actions, we can take it in stride, and move on.
All of this, by the way, happened BEFORE he started getting comfortable with me. Rather than destroying our already delicate relationship, working him through controlled stress helped us bond.
Don’t avoid stress. Work through it and applaud the effort.