Collective Horse Training

05/21/2025

Zyanya had her second long lining experience. She did MUCH better this time. Still just asked her to walk and nothing more.
The first time was kinda a disaster. All she wanted to do was spin and face me. She has done quite a bit of in hand bridle work so she has had pressure on reins to turn and does quite well but all logic when out the window. When I long line for the first few times I do not use a bridle for reasons like what she did. No point in pulling on the mouth.

05/13/2025

Galloping, Bucking, Not Broken: The Greatest Lie Horses Ever Told 🐎💥

You step into the paddock, coffee in hand, expecting a peaceful morning and a whiff of horse breath that says “all is well.” ☕✨

Instead, your horse is on the wrong side of the fence, looking smug and oddly unscathed—or worse, still tangled in wire. You cut them free, patch up a scratch or two (or marvel at the miraculous absence of any), and thank the gods of lucky escapes.

Crisis averted.

Or is it? 😬

Here’s the problem: the real damage doesn’t always bleed.

Over the years, I’ve met a string of horses who’ve all survived this advanced-level self-sabotage. They’ve jumped a gate (well… tried), crashed through a fence, slipped on a slope, flipped, twisted, crushed or compressed themselves in ways that would make a chiropractor cry and a vet sigh while reaching for the X-ray machine (which, by the way, won’t show the damage either). 🏅💀

The horse recovers. No visible limp. They run. They buck. They play.

You think:
“They’re fine! Look at them go!”
But they’re not fine. Not even a little bit.

Enter: The Invisible Injury 🕵️‍♀️

What you can’t see—and what many professionals miss—is the slow-burn catastrophe hidden deep in the horse's body.

Ribcage. Pelvis. Sternum. Neck. Stifle.
The kind of stuff that doesn’t light up on X-rays or respond to your carrot-stick-wiggly-wand of trust. 🥕🌀

It’s the kind of discomfort that turns “walk, trot, canter” into “grimace, flinch, explode.”

And here’s the kicker: the horse doesn’t limp. It compensates.

Because horses, unlike people, don’t throw dramatic tantrums and demand cortisone shots. They quietly adjust. They twist, tighten, avoid, or overuse other parts of their body to keep going.

They are the masters of stoicism.....until you put a halter on.
You ask for a transition, a bend, a float trip, or—God forbid—a trot circle. And suddenly—

You get emotion.
You get resistance.
You get confusion, agitation, blow-ups, shut-downs—
Every spicy ingredient in a full-blown training meltdown stew. 🍲🔥
The Spiral Begins 🌀

The owner thinks: “I’m doing something wrong.”
The trainer thinks: “We need more groundwork.”
The horse thinks: “Kill me.” ☠️
Eventually, the owner moves on—new trainer, new method, new online course promising the horse will “choose joy and connection.”

But the problems persist.
Cue spiralling shame, rejection of all prior knowledge, and a desperate descent into rabbit holes of essential oils, a connection-based enlightenment facilitator, and equine shadow work. 🧘‍♀️🌿🔮

When in fact, what they really needed was a bloody good vet and bodyworker, and someone to say:

“Hey, maybe your horse’s inability to pick up the left lead can’t be fixed with trust exercises and lavender oil.”

The Warning Signs We Miss 🚩

Here are the red flags waving harder than a liberty trainer at sunset:

The horse becomes emotional, reactive, or weirdly robotic.
What should be simple feels charged, unpredictable, and unnervingly fragile.
Training progress flatlines, no matter how much effort you throw at it.
The horse starts avoiding halters, floats, mounting blocks—or life in general.
The problem isn’t always psychological.

Sometimes, it’s a bloody rib.
Or a pelvis rotated like a cheap IKEA table leg. 🪑

But we don’t look there—because the horse looks fine.
It bucks in the paddock! It gallops!
It must be okay!

Nope. That’s not health.
That’s compensation.
It’s adaptation with the odd short step.

Or worse—when they can’t limp because everything’s uncomfortable.
That’s when it gets really insidious.

What Happens Next is Predictable… and Sad 😢

These horses often get labelled as:

Difficult
Shut down
Disrespectful
“Needing more wet saddle blankets”
Or… “Needing a softer approach”
Or… “Not aligned with your energy” 🙃
No one considers the simple truth:

It hurts to do what we’re asking.
Not in a “don’t feel like it” way.
In a “my sternum’s fused to my shoulder blade and I can’t rotate left without seeing stars” way. 🌟

They suffer in silence while we rotate through training ideologies like a midlife crisis through motorcycles—all because we never asked the most obvious question:

“Has this horse ever had an accident?”

Because if they have—if they’ve failed to clear a gate, slipped, fallen, crushed, or tangled in wire—it may have changed everything. Not just the body, but the brain.

Pain messes with movement.
It makes easy things hard.
It turns willing horses into wary ones.
And it ruins good humans who start to believe they’re not good enough.

What You Can Do Instead of Losing Your Mind 🧠➡️🧘‍♂️

Take my good friend Tami Elkayam’s advice:
If something happens, write it down in a diary. ✍️

Even if they seem fine.

Then, if things start getting weird months or years later, don’t reach for your third liberty course or $800 worth of chamomile pellets. 💸🌼

Consider that maybe—just maybe—your horse isn’t emotionally broken, disrespectful, or traumatised by a training method.

Maybe those fractured ribs are hurting when you do up the girth.

Before You Burn It All Down… 🔥🚫

Before you give up, throw out your halters, block your last five coaches on Instagram, or trade your saddle for an oracle deck… pause.

Reflect.

Is it possible your horse is trying—but simply can’t?
Could it be that what they’re resisting isn’t you—but a physical reality no amount of groundwork or paddock bonding can fix?
Is it time to stop blaming yourself, your horse, and everyone you’ve ever learned from—and instead… dig deeper?
Because sometimes, the source of your training failures, your emotional spirals, and your eroded confidence…
..was a bloody gate.
That your horse didn’t clear.
That day. 🐴💔

If this switched on a lightbulb 💡, hit share. Pass it on.

Disclaimer: This is satire. Humour helps people read long posts they’d usually scroll past—so they don’t miss something that might actually help them or their horse.

Feel like tone-policing? Fabulous. Write your own post. That’s where your opinion belongs.

📸 IMAGE: My Aureo—the horse who taught me this lesson...even the bit about lavender oil 😆

04/28/2025

I had a great laugh at this and had to share!

I've come to the conclusion that you never really know someone...until you see their horse get loose at a show.

It started with a sound, a metallic clink, a frantic scramble, a saddle pad catching the wind like a pirate flag.

Then came the cry.
From somewhere across the warm-up ring, in agonizing slow motion:
"WE HAVE A RUUUUUUUUUUUUNAWAAAAY!!"

Heads whipped around.
Parents clutched their children.
No one knows their true athletic potential until they hear the words, 'Hey... isn't that your horse?'
You can train for years, lift weights, run marathons... but nothing unlocks your final form like seeing your horse loose on the showgrounds.
A woman dropped her tall Caramel Macchiato with extra whip, and ran.

It was her horse.
Of course it was her horse.
The same horse who, just this morning, had refused to walk past a puddle.
Now galloping with the chaotic grace of a drunk pegasus.

And she, who normally needed three reminders to pick up the canter, became a heat-seeking missile with a lead rope.

Gone was the woman who once needed encouragement to "be a little quicker off the aids."

In her place:
Jason Bourne with breeches.
A suburban gazelle.
A tactical unit fueled solely by sheer, primal horror.

She hurdled hay bales and small children.
She slid under a sponsors banner like an action hero escaping an explosion.
She parkoured off a mounting block like she'd trained her whole life for this single, stupid moment.

The horse zigged. She zagged.
The crowd gasped.
Someone’s Great Aunt Cheryl fainted near the Porta-Potties.

And just when it seemed the gods of chaos would win,
she launched herself, full Superman form, grabbed the reins, skidded fifteen feet across the gravel, and stuck the landing like an Olympic gymnast with an unpaid vet bill.

Silence.
A single folding chair toppled in the breeze.
Then, scattered applause.

She stood up, hair full of footing, eyes wild, holding her horse like a Viking brandishing a captured enemy.

Some say she never even warmed up after that.
She just dusted herself off, tacked up, saluted the judge, and went straight down centerline, and pulled off the best test of her life.

All we know is you don’t choose to be a hero.
Sometimes, your horse chooses for you.

12/23/2024

Wishing everyone a safe and joyous holiday!

12/08/2024

We will be back at Shramrock farms tomorrow in support of Dreamcatchers equine rescue. We have lots of stuff needing a new home! 11-3 old Pueblo road across from PPIR.

12/06/2024

Tawnia and I will be out here this weekend supporting Julie and Dreamcatchers Equine Rescue! Come on out and see what we got!

ONLY 3 DAYS TO GO !
Are you ready to Buy or Swap?
It’s not too late to reserve your spot!

11/28/2024

Hope everyone has a warm and filling Thanksgiving!

09/16/2024

Took the ponies out for a mini hike this past weekend! My non horse friend did great with Miss Taka! Both horses started out uppy but they did eventually settle. Can't wait to get them out more!

07/09/2024

Been a long road to this moment. Both ponies took a trip over to Julie's for a visit and a little work time. I was amazed they loaded as easily as they did and hope it can be a consistent thing. They need to start getting out more!

06/28/2024

Julie Steorts will be teaching this 2 day course. If you have interest in the Masterson Method and want hands on training, this is for you!

04/20/2024

Minna and I went on an adventure with the greenies! Had a great time at the friends of the equestrian skills course poker 5k! They have some fun obstacles for anyone to check out! Both horses did GREAT on their first adventure out and about.