07/17/2026
An Exhibitor's Nightmare
*Or, Why You Never Mix Lucky One Hard Lemonade with Tipsy Cow Chocolate Liqueur
It was an ordinary show.
Held inside an Indian restaurant.
As they are.
The pigs were set up in their cozy show accommodation carriers, waiting for the judges to come around en masse and take their notes on each pig, no matter the breed or class, and then move on to the next person's carriers, to decide the results when they had seen every pig.
As they do.
I had brought a VERY young baby. He had been born the night before, but he was a perfect example of a new variety, and he was 13oz, the little monster, so I brought him.
As you do.
The judges admired him, his color, his coat, his markings, his ginormous size at 24 hours old, then announced, "DQ" and moved on.
Shocked, I lifted him out of the carrier after they had left, and set him on the table.
He had a tail.
Not a nub.
A very attractive gerbil tail.
The End.
