05/29/2021
Last night I was sitting there eating cold pizza after I put my daughter to bed thinking about all my short comings in life. All the places I failed and things that should have been different. Sitting there obsessing about the time I’ve lost with the wrong people or doing the wrong things and not thinking about all the amazing things that have come out of these last 30 years.
Me: Damn, I got married at 18, divorced at 24. Remarried at 24 and divorced at 29. I’m a single mom at 30 and been divorced 2x! What a fricken loser... as I eat more pizza. But then I started thinking about my daughter more as I hear her in her room talking to herself asking her toy horses if “you okay little buddy?” And I started thinking about all the things I’ve done right in the last 30 years. Her crazy self being at the very top of my list!
Ya, I’ve done stupid s**t. But I have also done some pretty dope s**t! I joined the army. I spent almost 8 years serving my amazing country, deployed, became one of the first females in the field artillery, one of the first female NCOs in field artillery. Got kicked in the face by a heart disease and had to leave the military. Used my GI benefits and became the FIRST PERSON ON EITHER SIDE OF MY FAMILY TO GET A COLLEGE DEGREE. I have a bachelors degree in business and absolutely No debt. I own my own home, my own equestrian center, I founded and am running a nonprofit for veterans and mustangs all by my damn self while being a single mom before the age of 30. My daughter and I are living the dream. She’s happy, healthy and full of fire, just like me. I can legitimately say that I’m pretty fu***ng proud of everything I have accomplished in my 30 years. I’ve never been handed anything and I’ve worked my ass off for everything I have. I am absolutely blessed to be where I am in life.
So here’s to dirty 30, 30 and thriving Nothing will change to much, I’m still not going to have a filter when it comes to my mouth, I’ll still embarrass my mom constantly, I’ll always stay be inappropriate and wild. The only real change is going to be my mindset. I’m done being a pouty pants about failures and short comings. We’re looking up only from here on out.
